Friday, December 28, 2012

Dear artists, you can stop now

It's all been done. Yoko has merged emotion, art, pop culture, high culture, spectacle, comedy, and tragedy into one 2-minute performance.

Turn out the lights before you go.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Anyone using Bloglovin'?

If so... Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

My new favorite Christmas song

Sing it, Judy.


Merry Xmas! Now party hard.

Rudolph has the good stuff.

Happy Xmas!

I hope you manage to avoid the giant man-eating, Xmas-hating emus out there this Christmas Day.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

It's a library, honey...


My plan to make guns safe

Dear NRA,

I know you probably think "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" is too gay or old to teach us anything, but I'm here to tell you that this play and film has the answers to all our woes.

Guns can still strike fear into the hearts of those we point them at. Just look at Elizabeth Taylor. There is true terror in her eyes.

But, by simply trading bullets for an umbrella gag, we both save this violet-eyed beauty's life AND give Richard Burton the emotional satisfaction of getting to shoot his spouse. And who doesn't want that?

So, today I'm proposing the mass retrofitting of all guns in America. More umbrellas, fewer tragic deaths. I think it's a fair trade. Edward Albee would surely agree.


Todd X.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Dear Lorax, we need you.

The redwoods are dying. It may be time to hang it up, folks, and turn out the light. Party's over. This has been a depressing few days.

If you’ve never been to California to see its giant redwoods, you should probably go soon. It might be only a matter of time before they’re all gone. Research released Friday indicates that the world’s oldest trees are dying at an alarming rate. “It is a very, very disturbing trend,” says lead researcher William Laurance of James Cook University. “We are talking about the loss of the biggest living organisms on the planet, of the largest flowering plants on the planet, of organisms that play a key role in regulating and enriching our world.”

The rapid die-off of the world’s oldest trees

What would you do for minimum wage?

From Andrew Fishman's Art: Blake Fall-Conroy, “Minimum Wage Machine,” 2008-2010

This machine allows anyone to work for minimum wage for as long as they like. Turning the crank on the side releases one penny every 4.97 seconds, for a total of $7.25 per hour. This corresponds to minimum wage for a person in New York.

This piece is brilliant on multiple levels, particularly as social commentary. Without a doubt, most people who started operating the machine for fun would quickly grow disheartened and stop when realizing just how little they’re earning by turning this mindless crank. A person would then conceivably realize that this is what nearly two million people in the United States do every day…at much harder jobs than turning a crank. This turns the piece into a simple, yet effective argument for raising the minimum wage.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Toe Shoes are #1 on my list: Gawker's 22 Terrible Things That Must End in 2013


What did you hate in 2012? Whom did you hate? Let it all out.

12:12 on 12/12/12?

This must mean something.

Early lunch?
World Peace?
12 more shopping days before Xmas?
The first day of the rest of our lives?
The beginning of the end?
Big Bang?
The Big One in SF?
The day the Earth stands still?

Whatever happens, I hope you have a great day with at least one delicious glass of iced tea and plenty of cocktails. But, just to be on the safe side, I'm finding some high ground.


Friday, December 7, 2012

My diet philosophy

If it's not iced tea, wine, whiskey, or vodka, I simply don't understand what you're talking about.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Six Supervisors in San Francisco Who Hate The Naked Human Body: Nudity Ban Approved

Auguste Rodin; Middelheimmuseum

Anti-human body supervisors in San Francisco: Scott Wiener, David Chiu, Carmen Chu, Mark Farrell, Sean Elsbernd, and Malia Cohen

Pro-human body Supes: Jane Kim, John Avalos, Christina Olague, David Campos, and Eric Mar

Dear Mayor Lee, don't sign this legislation. I promise that you won't personally have to get naked. In fact, I forbid it. But please remember while you're contemplating the sterilized, homogenized San Francisco of your dreams: there are some things an app can't do for you:

Put flowers in your hair.
Let you feel the sunshine on your butt.
Create a culture of inclusion and tolerance.
Stand in line for amazing bread.
Ride a cable car.
Chat with the homeless dude outside your neighborhood doughnut shop.
Build the Golden Gate Bridge.
Revel in the fog that delights, irritates, protects, and charms us.

All these things (and many, many more) are San Francisco. I encourage and dare you not to diminish them or this place.