Tuesday, December 31, 2013

A Year in the Life of Iced & Sarcasm: 2013

It was a great year and I'm looking forward to another good one. I hope you all have a fantastic New Year!

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Prepare for Dancing Queen Nightmares


Merry Xmas!

I hope you got lots of books from Santa this year.


Monday, December 23, 2013

Advice to Job Seekers: December 2013

Don't send this sentence when asking for a job:

"I understand that you are a very busy person, but I would greatly appreciate any strategies you could recommend that would help me in working to myself into prime candidate for to join [your] team." 

Saturday, October 12, 2013

What can this book teach you?

Better question: What can't it teach you?


That time Freddie Mercury "married" Jane Seymour for charity

Now this was fierce. You can call the 80s all sorts of names and point out flaws 'til Tuesday, but those people knew how to represent over-the-top.

Come back, Freddie!

Sunday, September 8, 2013

The Eclipse of Venus

Via Twitter: “@PabloManu: Eclipse de Venus en Buenos Aires @mnsaldivar @christina_ochoa http://t.co/vY3GLAo90x” gracias Pablo!! Cc- 🌙 @BadAstronomer

Friday, September 6, 2013

Kirk Cameron is stalking me

Which one of you signed me up for emails from the American Family Association? Or did Kirk hack my email (again)? Give it up, KC! I'm never coming back to you. Never!!


Thursday, August 15, 2013

If you could ban one outfit for a year, what would it be?

Fashion is fun, whimsical, practical, or if you're at my house, wrinkled and likely some form of a pull-over or quarter-zip. I get it. I'm not here to be too judgey. But, let's just play a little mind experiment here. If, by some quirk of the laws of the universe, you could erase from existence just one outfit for a year, what current couture catastrophe would you choose?

I'll go first and I'm going to be bold. Men, listen, this is for our own good. I'm banning the classic khaki pant/blue oxford combo. Stop! Wait, what? Am I serious?!

Yes, as serious as a heart attack. I know this outfit is versatile. I know it's the casual dressy look that you've been sporting since your fraternity days (or earlier). But you're all caught in a rut. This outfit, despite what you've told yourself or been told by weak-willed others, is not the height of fashion. It's not even the sidewalk of fashion. It's easy. And it's bland. And you can do better.

Tucked in, untucked, freshly pressed or ravaged by wrinkles, the khakis and blues look has haunted and limited us all long enough. So, I propose a one year moratorium. You don't have to throw out all your Dockers and Polo oxfords, but you can't wear them together--for one whole year.

Explore color. You see guys wearing blue, green, and rust-colored pants. They look. . . different. At first. But, eventually, you become accustomed and they look normal. Don't be scared. Try a pair on.

And prints. You could try a nice textured shirt. Or a polo. Or a half-zip. Or a jacket! I'm even willing to let you wear a white shirt with a cute tie. And khakis if you must.

So, get in your closet, try out some funky combinations, get your girl/boyfriend to take you to Ben Sherman or some other section of the mall that isn't afraid of colors and textures and GO WILD.

I can't wait to hear what you want to ban now. Do I hear hoodies, anyone?

Goodbye Google+ comments!

I'm not sure what the point of G+ comments were anyway. But, I noticed today that all the old comments were invisible after switching to G+ commenting. That's annoying. So, it's goodbye and welcome back.

In the meantime, will you people leave some comments already! Geez. XOXO

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

How not to apply for a job

Breaking into any industry can be hard, especially for young people out there with little or no experience. I would hope, however, that a passing familiarity with the profession one wants to enter would be paired with some innate skill or demonstrated ability to learn about the work. Sadly, this is not always true. Case in point, exhibit A:

I have been searching for job opportunities that involve writing. I saw one that was advertised up on Craigslist but I don't have the experience you are looking for that position. It seems that every I look school is required, and while I do plan to go to school for writing I haven't been able to yet. My question to you would be if there were any ground levels that someone who loves proofreading, editing and writing can fill the bill for. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I tried looking at the job section on the site but it wasn't showing up. Jobs in this field are limited and with the requirements set high it makes it near impossible for a someone who has been writing for themselves for a number of years now to find a job without actual experience. So how would I obtain the experience in this case?

Any information would be helpful and I will be grateful to.
Yes, I agree with this job seeker: any information would be helpful. First, information on standard grammar and punctuation. I hear they have whole books about these subjects, not to mention the years one typically spends learning the native tongue. Second, denying the premise that an employer presents, such as "X years of education and/or experience are required," is not the best way to get your foot in the proverbial door.

I'm going to applaud the effort. If one doesn't ask, the answer is almost always no. The universe rarely just gives you something. But, and let me say this as gently as possible, it's important for job seekers to realize that work, like life, is much like a ladder. There are steps. And the first step isn't always a job offer. Sometimes preparation must be done before you even get to the ladder, the offer, the success, or even the application. And by sometimes, I mean always.

So, study hard, stay out of trouble, and practice your passion every way you can.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Rant: The IOC ignores the concerns of gay athletes, or How the 2014 Sochi Olympic Games ended today

The personal is political. If you don't believe it, then explain how a gay Olympic couple could be barred from holding hands while a straight couple would not be sanctioned. You see, under rule 50 of the IOC’s charter: ‘No kind of demonstration or political, religious or racial propaganda is permitted in any Olympic sites, venues or other areas.’ Sexual orientation is not protected by the IOC charter, so any demonstration of queerness will be evaluated as a demonstration or propaganda. Hmm, this sounds vaguely Russian. It's just politics, folks.

With its statement on this issue, the IOC has chosen to politicize gay Olympians' identities while overlooking the unacknowledged politics inherent in the identities of its heterosexual athletes. I do not accept that homosexuality is political, but heterosexuality is not. Either sexuality is political or it isn't. If it's the former, please, let's ban all expressions of sexuality during the Olympics. Too extreme? I agree, but "what's good for the goose is good for the gander," and all that jazz.

For me, the 2014 Olympic Games are over as of today. I will not, cannot support anyone or any organization involved with these tainted Olympic Games. I will happily turn off the television before the show even begins. I hope you, too, will decide to skip them this winter. 

Friday, August 2, 2013

When a man loves a turtle...

Straight from China comes my favorite story of the week. A man tried to smuggle his beloved pet turtle onto a flight by disguising it as a hamburger. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, indeed.

A man tried to smuggle his pet turtle through security in Guangzhou Baiyun International Airport by hiding it in a KFC hamburger.

The incident occurred on the morning of July 29, when a man, surnamed Li, was about to board China Southern Airlines flight 345 to Beijing, Guangzhou Daily reported. As Li passed through airport security, X-ray screening machines detected a few “odd protrusions” sticking out of a KFC burger that the man had packed in his bag.

Airport staff determined that the protrusions looked suspiciously like turtle limbs, and asked to inspect Li’s luggage.

“There’s no turtle in there, just a hamburger,” Li reportedly insisted. “There’s nothing special to see inside.”

Li finally acquiesced to an inspection after repeated requests from airport staff, who uncovered the pet turtle hidden inside the burger. When asked why he had devised this strange idea, Li said that he had only wanted to travel together with his “beloved” turtle.

After staff patiently explained that turtles could not be smuggled on board the plane, Li reluctantly agreed to allow a friend to care for his pet while he was away.

Now, I don't know what's more disturbing: the fact that the man couldn't bear to be separated from his turtle or that KFC serves hamburgers. What insanity is this?!

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Hello, Earth, you pale blue dot, you

This photo of Earth from the Cassini spacecraft near Saturn really puts things in perspective, doesn't it? Doesn't it?!!

A man said to the universe:
"Sir I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation." 

Friday, July 19, 2013

Where were you at 2:27pm PST on July 19, 2013? Waving at Saturn perhaps?

I couldn't resist. How many interplanetary photographs do you get to be a part of? So, I gathered some troops from work and headed outside to wave at the Saturn and the Cassini spacecraft which was taking a photo of Earth at that very moment. Being goofballs, we had to represent for Saturn and form our own rings. Say cheesy!
 CB as Saturn

Don't worry if you missed it. I'm sure we'll be sending another spaceship to Mars or something real soon. wave at saturn certificate

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Happy Independence Day 2013: In Praise of the All-American Boy

I hope you all find an all-American boy, girl, or in-between this holiday weekend.

Until then, let's shoot off some fireworks and drink beer like George Washington wanted!!


Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Jesus and the universe: What really matters

I think I understand religion now. It's about priorities and perspective. It's the SCALE that I don't understand. Hmmm. Lots to think about.


Saturday, June 29, 2013

Efficiency at Iced Tea & Sarcasm HQ

Wouldn't it just be easier if I froze the tea in the ice cube trays? I sense an experiment! Stay tuned. 

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

But California can.

Yes, California can.

via Urban Lumberjack

It's just one of those days: Goodbye DOMA and Prop 8

I was going to say that we couldn't have asked for a better preamble to San Francisco's 2013 Pride Weekend than the Supreme Court striking down both DOMA and Proposition 8 in California, but that's wrong.

We did ask for this. We marched for this. We voted for this. Throughout our history, our queer brothers and sisters have fought, bled, and died for this this.

And we, the lucky ones, lived to see it. Time was always on our side, but the wait! Oh, the waiting is the hardest part. Well, that and the second-class citizenship.

These decisions will be debated. People will shout for joy and others will gnash their teeth and pull their hair. Nevertheless, today's rulings were a victory for us all (yes, even you, Mr. Huckabee). The expansion of human rights is always a good thing. But, this is just one step in our journey. The work isn't done yet. Celebrate, cheer, have fun, then get back to the rallies, the polls, the phones, and petitions. As anonymous said, "No one is free when others are oppressed."

If you live in Oklahoma or another of the 37 states that still ban marriage equality, don't worry. We're coming for you soon.

Happy Pride!

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Paula Deen: The Real Controversy

Yes, Paula yearns for plantation-style dinner parties with waiter-slaves, but this behind-the-scenes shot at the Food Network reveals her true debauchery and likely the real reason the Food Network is not renewing her contract.

Clearly, Paula is the Food TV Caligula and hosts raucous and immoral parties marked by feather headdresses, questionable fashion, and abdominal butter licking contests. At least, I'm assuming that's butter on Robert Irvine's belly. The execs of the Food Network can overlook a lot, but their morals clause is a line in the sand. 

Paula "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" Deen will survive, though. Fear not. America and the South are forgiving. She'll just deep fry a tasty, artery-clogging apology and people will be lining up at her restaurant in no time. If you're brave, ask for the Butter Shot Special. 

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

A visit to Acqua Alta, the most beautiful bookstore in Venice

I stumbled across this amazing, decaying homage to books of all languages: Acqua Alta. How many bookstores do you know that are accessible by boat?

Wall of books:

Book staircase:

The view:

Beat that, Barnes & Noble.