Saturday, November 28, 2009

Analemma: It's not my new drag name


This photo is the result of a series of photographs taken by V. Rumyantsev every 10th day in the Crimea during which he tracked the course of the sun for a year [click on the photo to go to his blog]. The result is proof of the analemma. Considering that I can barely sustain interest in a sitcom for a season, it amazes me that anyone could pursue such a project with the hope of producing one photograph after a year's work.

Weekend in Truckee

The Thanksgiving weekend seemed like a great time to get out of SF, avoid the Black Friday madness, and frolic in the snow-covered pine trees in the Tahoe/Truckee area. Usually, I hate the cold. I'm over it. I grew up in a place with distinct seasons--hot summers and cold winters. Now, though, give me temperate consistency and I'm happy.

However, I always look forward to going up to Truckee and sitting in front of the fireplace. I'm bundled up and that first hour when the house has to warm up is torture, but I love it. Then when our friends get here and the house fills with conversation and laughter and games and wine and food, it transforms into something amazing. Each time I visit I want to stay. Dear boss, about that telecommuting policy. . . .

I hope you're all having a nice weekend too. If it's snowing there, too, get under the blanket and have a hot toddy. Everyone deserves one of those. :)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!

In case you can't remember why you're stuffing yourself into a tryptophan coma and hiding from your drunk uncle this holiday, watch this classic Peanuts scene.

Seriously, Thanksgiving Day is my favorite holiday--even if we just have toast and popcorn. I hope you all have a wonderful time today and get to enjoy lots of delicious food. Send any good leftovers my way.

Eat ham

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

This is why poetry matters

Because even bad poetry makes us laugh--and that is no small feat.

This holiday season I'm thankful for Suzanne Somers, poetry, and the ability to keep from taking it all so seriously.

An Ode to a Ham

I like ham.
Ham likes Paula.
I like Paula.
Paula likes neither.


Katie Couric's Solid Gold Dance of Doom

Just as Shiva dances to destroy a weary world so that a new universe can be created, Katie Couric conjures the forces of nature to wipe out this planet. It's performance art as apocalypse. It's a harbinger of doom and we are her playthings.

Yes, little girl who looks on in abject horror, it is real and we shall all suffer for it. Look away if you can!!

Created with flickr slideshow.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

With all the out-of-work art majors, can't we have better police sketch artists?

Something is wrong in Bolivia. Either art classes are being drastically cut from the schools' curricula, or there is an extreme shortage of hair conditioner in La Paz. Amazingly, this drawing led police to two suspects who were promptly arrested. As you can see from this footage of the arrest, the artist is in fact a genius.

Posted via web from toddx's posterous

No one celebrates Halloween like us

I work with the best people.

Muchas gracias to the in-house videographer.

Close Encounters of the Redneck Kind

I loved this movie as a kid--still do. But when you add the banjo-goodness and threat of backwoods sodomy, it becomes even better.

Close Encounters of the Redneck Kind from Marc Bullard on Vimeo.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Why "Twilight" is destroying America

I found this posted on Facebook by my friend Kevin and had to share.

Fan Made: Bella's Womb from 'Twilight' (aka Creepiest 'Fan Made' Ever)

by Erik Davis Feb 5th 2009 // 1:01PM

Filed under: Fandom, Images, Fan Made

We've been writing these little Fan Made posts for awhile now, and although I'd like to think that I've seen just about everything you wacky fans can come up with, this little nugget of fandom came along and just about cost me my breakfast. Oh yes, one creative (and creepy) Twilight fan actually took the time to felt together Bella's womb, complete with -- wait for it -- an actual felted mutant fetus inside! Who in their right mind does stuff like this? Seriously, who wakes up one day and says, "Ya know, I think I want to spend the next week or so recreating what Bella's womb would look like with a mutant fetus inside, and then maybe share it with fans on the internet ... because they'll of course think I'm, like, completely normal and stuff."

We love you Twilight fans -- we really do. You're passionate, loyal and determined to spend as much time as you possibly can caring, loving and rooting for these fictional characters. But I think (or should I say, hope) you agree with me when I say we've discovered the limit. This is when you should turn to your child and say, "Mayyybe it's time to take on something a little more productive." Check out both the closed womb and the open womb w/ mutant fetus in the gallery below -- then tell us: Is this the creepiest piece of fan-created junk you've ever seen? If not, what beat this?

Gallery: Bella's Womb

[via This Journal and Scott Neumyer's Twitter]

I can't look at this thing. Actually, I'm pretty sure it just moved. Eww, eww, eww.

Now, what about Taylor Lautner's womb?

Posted via web from toddx's posterous

Friends & Family Sale at Chronicle Books!


Chronicle Books is having a special Friends and Family Holiday Sale! Get 35% off all books--with FREE SHIPPING! Use the promo code FRIENDS at checkout from now until Dec 4th.

If you're buying something for me, I like cookbooks. And diamonds.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Washing my hands in Grey Goose

If it's good enough to pickle my liver, then it's undoubtedly good enough to sanitize my paws. In my dreams, rivers of vodka pour from my faucets and wash away the dirt and grime of the city. Ah, nirvana.

If you, too, find yourself with a little extra vodka in your pantry, then Heather Craven offers this recipe for making your own vodka-based hand sanitizer:

* 1/4 cup aloe Vera gel
* 1/4 cup vodka
* 10 drops fragrance oil

Mix and put into a pump bottle. Then, resist the urge to add cranberry juice or soda water. Cheers!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

A Man on a Mission--or in the Mission

"Fashion Don't" or cross-cultural commentary on the intersection of gender politics and ecofeminist ideology? You decide.

Posted via web from toddx's posterous

Extreme Multi-tasking or "How I save time at the urinal"


My colleagues are busy people. So busy, in fact, that they inevitably find themselves worshipping at the alter of multitasking. I get it. I really do. I'm busy myself.

But. . .

Look closely, if you dare, at the photo above. Yes, it's a urinal, ladies. And, yes, we men actually do use them. However, we typically use them for one thing and one thing only. Apparently, though, someone didn't get the instruction manual.

Do you SEE the blue blob in the urinal? Do I need to tell you what it is? It's TOOTHPASTE!! Someone was brushing his teeth at the urinal (and I'm making a gender assumption here and I recognize that nothing would theoretically prevent one of my female coworkers from brushing her teeth at this particular urinal, but let's get real). My mind tried to reach for a more palatable reason for the toothpaste's presence:

1. Maybe it's not toothpaste and someone has a medical condition I'm unaware of.
2. Maybe someone was brushing his teeth, needed to spit, but BOTH sinks in the bathroom were being used.
3. Maybe we've been invaded by aliens.

While I hope it's scenario #3, I tend to believe that Dude (yes, let's call him "Dude") was brushing his teeth, felt the call of nature, walked over to said urinal while still brushing his teeth, relieved himself and spat simultaneously. For his sake, I just hope it all went into the urinal.

But, Dude, in the future, can you please try to keep your hygienic routines separate? Or at least flush the urinal 5-600 times and wash away your shame? We would all really appreciate it.

Monday, November 16, 2009

My kingdom for a glass!

Look what I just got! Thanks to my friend Courtney, I am now the proud owner of a Powell's Books pint glass. You may remember that I mentioned these glasses several months ago. It's as beautiful as I had imagined. Now, what should I drink from it first. . . ? Iced tea, perhaps?

Thanks again, Courts!!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Wow, Maya Angelou is popular

If you're searching for the "Maya Angelou" reading of Craigslist as poetry (one of the funniest things ever on Logo), then this very blog is your first result on Google. Depending on your search terms, Iced Tea & Sarcasm is #1 out of 964,000 results. Yikes! Thanks everyone for visiting!!

This person wants to be my friend on Facebook

First, I'm only friends with people I know--in real life--on FB. Second, who would use this as a profile photo?! I'm seriously afraid for my life now.

Dear Scary Person, may I interest you in some soap?

Posted via web from toddx's posterous

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Another reason screwtop bottles are superior

Thanks to Daisy for finding and sharing this. It makes me want to be in Paris again. Or at least drunk enough to try this with friends.

Posted via web from toddx's posterous

Here's to further recession!

Do you blame me? I'm going to single-handedly try to influence the PUMA Index by not buying anything today. You?

Friday, November 13, 2009

Meep! Or Civil Disobedience Muppet-Style

Don't say "Meep!" Danvers High in Massachusetts won't stand for it anymore.
Danvers High parents recently got an automated call from the principal warning them that if students say or display the word "meep" at school, they could face suspension.

Meep doesn't mean much, unless you are Beaker — the hapless, orange-haired assistant to Dr. Bunsen Honeydew on "The Muppet Show."

While meep may be nonsense, what it represented was no laughing matter to the high school's administration. High school Principal Thomas Murray said students were using it and other words to disrupt school in a particular part of the building on Cabot Road. The term later became part of a disruption some students were planning online.

I don't know about you, but the idea that a children's show from the late 1970s/early 80s is inspiring a new generation toward civil disobedience cracks me up. If I were one of the Danvers High teachers, however, I'd probably want them all caned. Ah, perspective and the joy of being child-free.

P.S. This was my 1000th posting. Crazy, huh?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Failed Absolut Advertising Campaign Leads to Homocide

A 34-year-old San Francisco woman accused of fatally beating her boyfriend Sunday inside their South of Market residence pleaded not guilty to murder today in San Francisco Superior Court.

Police said Kira Roueche called 911 from an apartment at the Henry Hotel at 106 Sixth St., where the couple had been living, at about 8 p.m. Sunday to report that 42-year-old Cameron Miller was unconscious. Paramedics arrived and pronounced him dead.

Homicide inspectors interviewed Roueche and arrested her early the next morning.

Prosecutors allege Roueche used a vodka bottle and a clock to beat Miller until he died.

I'm normally not a believer in the death penalty, but to use a perfectly good bottle of vodka for something as crass as murder is unacceptable. Dear Ms. Roueche, I hope that at the very least it was a premium vodka.

Catholicism and Homophobia in Washington D.C.

Via the Washington Post: The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn't change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.

The time for tolerance must come to an end. This needless deference to a belief in mythology should be cast aside. This story and the corresponding debate serves to cement in my mind the reality that organized religion is nothing but an impediment toward progress in our society. Their arguments are ultimately specious and the archdiocese's attempt to extort a political compromise out of the D.C. lawmakers reveals the Catholic Church's hypocritical nature. Any effort to meddle in the Church's affairs would be met with an outcry of government interference, but this attempt to effectively blackmail the D.C. council is cloaked in their ever-thinning veil of religious freedom.

No more. Let them pull out of their contracts. Let the D.C. council give that money to other NGOs and non-profits who would be thrilled to offer services sans proselytizing. Embrace civics, not false hope. Fill a pothole, not a church's coffers. Let this be a clarion call to all who believe in the separation of Church and State.

It's time to cut the cord and make the separation real.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Lady Gaga and I will write a Bad Romance together

Love her or hate her, you have to give her props for these videos. This one is off the chain. I love it and want to see people wearing these outfits on the street. Seriously, she's so good I might actually pay for her album.

Posted via web from toddx's posterous

Unimaginable Grief: Fort Hood

My thoughts go out to the mothers, fathers, sister, brothers and friends of those people who were slain in Ft. Hood. Just looking at this photo sends a wave of emotion through me. I imagine she is a mother, and she has lost her child to this senseless act. I imagine that this brief emotion that courses through me is but the tiniest fraction of what she is experiencing. Then, I try to imagine how she will cope with this fundamental loss over the next few days, weeks, years. And that is unimaginable to me.

Posted via web from toddx's posterous

Friday, November 6, 2009

Finally, an official drink for the Castro: Protein-infused vodka

Devotion Vodka, a San Francisco creation, is billing itself as the world's first protein-infused vodka. Needless to say, this caused a few reactions in me. I'm proud that someone in SF has the balls to market something that just sounds wrong on first hearing it mentioned. But, if there's going to be something ultra-premium and weird with food, then it's going to come from NorCal.

Then, I giggled and thought, "Oh, Devotion, you're not the world's first." I mean, have you been to the Castro after Badlands closes for the night? Honey, there's plenty of vodka-infused protein being exchanged in the doorways, on the sidewalks, in the streets, the cars, the nearby alleys and apartments. And don't get me started about Muni. So, Devotion says protein-infused, I say vodka-infused. Tomato/to-mah-toe.

But, think of the possibilities. A Red Bull and Devotion could potentially provide me with all the necessary nutrients: caffeine, sugar, protein and vodka. What else does a body need?! My god, the makers of Devotion (thank you, Drew Adelman) have created the end-all, be-all wonder drink of the ages! Finally, we know what the pyramid builders must have imbibed.

And, if this guy is pouring, then color me at the bar. "Why yes, I WILL have a Devoted Bull! How did you guess?" (wink)

See you in the 'Stro.

William Shatner's dramatic reading of Levi Johnston's tweets

As I was typing this post title, I realized just how dirty it sounded. Still, I love William Shatner and his dramatic interpretations on Conan's show are legendary. I hope you enjoy both the fake Levi tweets and the real Levi tweets.

And somewhere, Shakespeare and generations of poets are spinning in their graves. Love live the English language!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Thoughts on Maine, Proposition 1, and the Tyranny of the Majority

Just one year ago, California stood on the brink of history: would a majority of voters choose to strip legally recognized Constitutional rights from a minority group? The answer was an anemic yes, but a yes nonetheless. Overnight, millions of California citizens were relegated to second-class citizenship. We (since I count myself among this minority) literally had fewer rights than our neighbors thanks to 52% of the voters. It hurt. And it was wrong.

Tonight, by the same percentage of voters, Maine committed the same act of Constitutional treachery. Swayed by ignorance, bigotry, fear and misunderstanding, another simple majority has eliminated the rights of a minority group. Tonight, 53% of the people who showed up to the polls in Maine were successful in their attack on civil liberty. I hope they are proud.

Now, though, it's our turn. Either we stand up, resolve to fight this fundamental breach of our nation's promise to its citizens that we are all equal, and condemn all who stand in our way until we win. Or we should give up. The choice is simple: fight or flight.

Now choose.