Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Families come in all forms

Check out this totally cute story from wildbearpajamas which proves once and for all that dogs are better than cats.

My mom’s friend adopted this lovely dog after he was abandoned by his previous family. His name is Shaun. Shaun had always been very good at eating all his food. Every last bit that was, he ate it. One day he started leaving a little bit behind. He wouldn’t eat everything, no matter what. He always left a little behind. Every morning when my mom’s friend checked Shaun’s bowl, the food was gone. That was very strange, because Shaun always spent the night by her side. One night she decided to investigate the food situation. She waited quietly by the food bowl and then, in the middle of the night, a cat came through the window and ate the remaining food. She noticed the cat was actually pregnant. A week or so later the cat came into her house and gave birth to 6 little kittens. Shaun took care of them as if they were his own babies. My mom’s friend adopted the cat too (her name is Meow) and they took care of the kittens until they all found a loving home. Nowadays Meow and Shaun live happily together as a family and they each have their little bowl of food.

Jesus had two dads

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Now THIS is art: Pamela Michelle Johnson's hyper real junk food paintings

Some people may like Picasso. Others like Monet. I say, give me junk food! Pamela Michelle Johnson's paintings are not only beautiful, they're delicious. It may be the first time, however, that art has come with a calorie count. 

Monday, November 28, 2011

Free the beagles! Watch as dogs are allowed to go outside for the first time

Normally, I wouldn't tell you what to buy. Blood diamonds, tar sand oil, stolen Greek antiquities--you choose where to spend your money. But, these poor puppies just look sad. Their beagle eyes and shaky limbs will melt your heart. From now on, only buy products tested on humans, not dogs.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Sarcasm: The Primary Language

Finally, scientists are confirming what I've known all along. Sarcasm is essential:

Sarcasm seems to exercise the brain more than sincere statements do. Scientists who have monitored the electrical activity of the brains of test subjects exposed to sarcastic statements have found that brains have to work harder to understand sarcasm

Consider this blog to be your primer on advanced sarcasm. Regular visits will keep you healthy and regular and smarter than the average Joe. 

Nope, no media bias here: The revolution will not be televised (in America)

Do you ever have the feeling that you're not getting the whole story when you read or watch American news? Do your friends think you're crazy for thinking is way? Well, it's not you. 

No, I won't be shopping at Wal-Mart any time soon

All this for a $2 waffle iron. Mother Nature, I think we're done. Move on to the next species.

Is it weird that I want to live here?

I can imagine myself welcoming people and saying something like, "Don't mind all the books. Just make yourself at home." Ah, heaven. 

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Self-Portrait meet Self Pop-Tart

Waste a couple of minutes here:

2006 Aleph Malbec for #Drinksgiving

Update: Do NOT try this wine. It's has a funky wet basement odor and frankly little taste. Oh Whole Foods, you may have lost a wine customer.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Dangerous Congregations

WWPD: What Would Pike Do?

Lt. Pike didn't think my soup was spicy enough: Occupy the Kitchen

South meets West in my belly tonight

This rainy SF Sunday inspired me to make ham and bean soup (Mark Bittman's recipe with some tweaks) and some cornbread. I got to cook with ham hocks for the first time! It's a soul food kind of day, I guess. So, to balance out the southern influences, I'm pairing dinner with this tasty 2007 Buena Vista Carneros Pinot Noir as my little dash of the West coast. I hope you have a nice meal tonight too. 

Occupy Seurat

Friday, November 18, 2011

A Barnes & Noble Discount Dilemma: Why get 30% off when you can have 40% off!

Actual emails sent to me today

Dear Barnes & Noble,

I know bookstores are going through rough times right now, and I truly sympathize. I'm a book lover through and through. I also know you purchased Borders Books' intellectual property which included its customer database and the name. So, as far as you're concerned, I'm your customer now. Fine. I enjoy your stores. I have nothing against you.

But, when you toss out these casual discounts in an auction-like manner, I have to ask, "What price dignity?" Is the desperation so palpable that the lack of my taking action in the course of 51 minutes caused you to give away 10% more margin? Can you really afford that? Do you even believe in the inherent value of the product you sell?

Perhaps I'm reading too much into it. Perhaps you just had two different emails for me (I have them all routed to one central account by the way) and you chose to offer two seemingly different Todds actually different discounts. Ah, but there's the rub. Now I feel bad for all those who only got offered a 30% discount. Can't you just treat all your new customers the same. The loyal ones will rise to the top. And they will buy because they were probably going to buy from you anyway.

Good luck with the conversion of Borders' old customers. I truly hope they all go to you and not just Amazon. I want them to stay in the bookstores, touching the books, sharing recommendations with engaging booksellers, and participating in their communities. Sorry Amazon, but you just can't offer that.

Want: Revolving Bookshelves

Books are my favorite decorative element in a home. So, imagine my reaction to these amazing room dividing, rotating bookshelves. Amaze-balls. Now, I just need to buy a house so I can get them installed. That's easy, right?

This is what democracy looks like: Occupy Portland

A face full of mace or pepper spray. It's the latest fad in the Pacific Northwest.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Mystery Sandwich Wrap, or New York Don't Kill Me Now

New Fancy Food on Broadway may have a lot of selections, but they don't exactly have fidelity to their labeling. Picture me standing at the sandwich wrap case carefully reading the labels. Then imagine me trying to reconcile what I can see with my own eyes with the description. Buffalo chicken wrap. Really? I don't see chicken. And some ingredients are scratched out, including the chicken. I think it was a veggie wrap. I thought I'd play it safe and get turkey. I'm 99 44/100ths percent sure that there is another form of meat in this wrap besides turkey. Salami? Pepperoni? Spicy coppa? And the mystery condiment may have a blue cheese tang, but I wouldn't bet my soul on it.

So, wish my tummy luck. It may need it. Let my epitaph read "He was starving!"

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Cat + Butter = Infinite Energy

A simple flowchart: Is anyone getting raped on your watch?

I hate to get drawn into the Penn State debacle (let alone the centuries of cover-ups by the Catholic Church and, I'm sure, many other religious organizations), but this was too simply perfect not to share.

Dear Pope Ratzinger, do this.
Dear School Principals, do this.
Dear University Presidents, do this.
Dear Company President, Bar Owner, Factory Manager, Church Deacon, Adults of any kind, do this.


Dear YouTube, Jimmy Somerville would not approve of this ad

Of the three ads for this video by the great GAY singer Jimmy Somerville, two were religious: the Jesus Loves You ad (which I'm sure is TOTALLY gay positive) and a Christian dating ad (also completely inclusive of gays, I bet). Does anyone monitor this stuff?

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Welcome to Kitty City: Did you forget your meds?

I'm never looking at cats the same way again.

Got $4.3 million? The art of the 1% just got more expensive

Andreas Gursky's "Rhein II" is now the most expensive photograph in the world. It's fine, I guess, but I wonder what could I get for this photo I accidentally took of a bowl of tortilla chips?

"accidental tortillas" by Todd X.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011