Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
I've seen the light. The Venti pales. Twenty ounces is an insult. I need 31 ounces of the Water of Life. The Trenta was made for iced tea.
Disclaimer: this posting was lost in the ether and I just rediscovered it. I first tasted Trenta while in Massachusetts in October 2010. I will always think of autumn on the east coast when I order a Trenta. Or when I have stomach surgery to correct my distended stomach.
Disclaimer: Everything written above is a lie! Children + Todd X.?! Never never never never never never. Now where's my cocktail?
Thursday, January 27, 2011
The signs were all there. Flash forward 20 years and you can see him doing all the same things at a Tea Dance. You know I'm right.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Okay, I may not understand this piece of experimental fashion video art, but maybe I don't have to understand it. Maybe it's just about the pizza. Or the fence. Or the Metallica t-shirt that probably costs $800. If you have a religious experience while watching this, I hope you'll let me know in the comments.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Let this be a lesson to those people who don't know how to properly operate an elevator. Use your hands, not your feet. You see, most of us will press this button with our fingers. But, you've just pressed it with your foot--the same foot that was walking through the streets of SF--the spittle-ridden, trash-strewn, vomit-addled streets. So, thank you. Thanks for letting me have the opportunity to touch the residue of these famous streets. I really appreciate it.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
it all starts with you and your date enjoying free-flowing champagne in a suite before a scrub of cacao nibs and coconut milk (nothing exfoliates like cacao nibs). Once you’re properly primed, you’ll walk outside to the private garden for a leisurely hot cocoa soak before being finished off with a full-body massage using a chocolate-infused essential oil.
I like chocolate and all, but I'm not sure I want it rubbed into my special places. If you're interested, though, please ask for the dark chocolate.
It's the last night of my 40th year (if captured by the enemy, I will claim to be 35 max) and I'm reflecting on what 40 meant to me and what it means to the world. So, I'm off to Wikipedia. The Wiki entry for 40 is simultaneously maddening and intriguing. Yes, I know 40 isn't spelled "fourty." Do I need Wikipedia to tell me that? But, I didn't know that it was a pentagonal pyramidal number (and I still don't know what that means because I didn't click on the link).
Wikipedia also reminded me of the religious significance of 40: 40 days & 40 nights of rain, wandering for 40 years in the desert (couldn't anyone ask for directions?), Muhammad was forty when the archangel Gabriel made his revelation to him, and a man must be 40 to study the Kabbalah.
Then there are the really significant references to 40:
- many distilled alcoholic beverages (such as vodka) contain approximately 40 percent alcohol by volume
- in the name of WD-40, a spray lubricant
- the customary number of hours in a regular workweek in some Western countries. The song, "40 Hour Week (For a Livin')" by Alabama (as well as their album, 40-Hour Week), takes its name from the standard workweek length.
- the M40 (field protective mask), a United States military gas mask
- When nobody was looking, Lex Luther stole forty cakes. He stole forty cakes. That's as many as four tens. And that's just terrible.
I invented the word "timeshafted," got a little obsessed with Taylor Lautner and his 18th birthday, was SHOCKED to learn that Ricky Martin was gay, heard about Starbucks' new Trenta (and had one many months later in Massachusetts), drank a little, ate a little, didn't buy an iPad, learned how to recycle, and went to Santa Cruz for the annual half marathon pilgrimage.
I got to visit with my friend Shannon from Seattle, moved in with the BF, lived to see Harvey Milk get a holiday, visited Alcatraz for the first time, escaped Bieber Fever, saw Andy Bell at SF Pride, got an iPhone 4, and ate and drank more.
I attended an amazing French and Persian wedding, heard something about an oil spill, got a promotion, drove to LA for a fabulous birthday party with hats, gay retreated, bought poetry, discovered my favorite color, ate a little more (why hello Zero Zero!), wrote about water, went to my first gay wedding in Boston, went to Boston for the first time, and touched Walden Pond.
I went to Missouri for Thanksgiving, watched, lived, breathed, obsessed over the Giants winning the World Series, breathlessly watched Congress repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," and ended the year with Xmas in Tahoe and New Year's Eve in the city.
I will begin 41 with friends again--because I'm lucky. We're going to Tahoe to celebrate my birthday over a long weekend with a fireplace, games and wine. In between, I might read a little and practice my Fauxetry. I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and, when you reach this ripe old age (or look back on it fondly--yes, I'm looking at you), I hope you too have as much fun as I am.
Here's to a couple more Forties--at least. Aloha.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
*Baby, in this case, is the Pentagon and the military-industrial complex. Oh, and Republican penises.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Starbucks is rolling out a
But, others have noticed an intriguing trend in the evolution of Starbucks' logo: magnification. That being said, I give you the past, present, and future of the Starbucks logo. I await the green dot with a full glass of iced tea. Won't you join me?
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Do you remember this song?!! If not, listen and learn. This song rocked, rocks, will rock.