Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I Want A Sandwich: The only good thing to come out of the Beck Rally

Thanks to Dakota Fine and Brightest Young Things for sharing this amazing set of photos from recent GlennBeck-a-thon in Washington D.C.

Sandwich-desiring, cross-dressing, demon spawn are definitely the target audience of the Tea Party and Glenn Beck, don't you think?

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Jersey Circus: Is the Mashup Meme Getting Out of Hand?

As the blog says, "At last, Jersey Shore and Family Circus come together." But, perhaps it's time to ask if we've had enough of the mashup yet? Has the post-modern bricolage peaked? Is this just one more sign of our civilization's waning creativity?

Or, when you read something like the cartoon from Jersey Circus above, does it still have the endless power to amuse?

I'll admit it: I laughed. Sue me. I knew Fredric Jameson. And you, sir, are no Fredric Jameson.

Our Mission
We strive to reconcile our guilty delight in Jersey Shore, a bastion of trash, with our eye-rolling fondness for the Family Circus. We do this by juxtaposing the two in a very literal sense. We think you'll agree that something important is being done here.

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Monday, August 30, 2010

From Books to Jewelry

If I were a jewelry wearer, I would wear something like this. Imagine taking a copy of your favorite book and turning into a wearable piece of art. I think that's pretty cool. Gaudy, yes, but still cool.

You know, maybe I'll get my nose pierced so I can put one of those big bone-like things through it, but it'll actually be from a copy of "Cyrano de Bergerac." Oh, the amusing irony!

Littlefly is a UK company and this is their story:

Paper is many things: a carrier of text, illustration, history and emotion.

Jeremy May has captured the beauty of paper via a unique laminating process. Littlefly jewellery is made by laminating hundreds sheets of paper together, then carefully finishing to a high gloss. The paper is selected and carefully removed from a book, and the jewellery re-inserted in the excavated space.

Each piece is impossible to replicate, and is unique to the wearer. The beauty of the jewels extends within the piece: text and images pass all the way though the object, only exposed at the surfaces – giving a tantalising glimpse of the book within

Check them out at Littlefly.

Caffeinated Marshmallows: S'mores I Can Believe In

The Ghost Busters are gone, but caffeine is here to stay. And the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man understands the true balance of power. Behold caffeinated marshmallows! I can't wait to dunk them in my Valrhona hot chocolate or Blue Bottle mocha. Ah, the delicious peppy zing of it all!

They're backordered for now, but something like this can't be kept down. Place an order, sip your espresso, and wait for the FedEx guy to make your day.

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Friday, August 27, 2010

Concrete proof: Pod People Exist

Hey, California: Vote Yes on Prop 19

Just imagine what Anne Geddes could do with all these stoner babies!

Smitten Ice Cream

Smitten will be opening their shop in Hayes Valley soon, but we got a sneak preview at our company picnic yesterday. They made Salted Caramel ice cream in their experimental, liquid nitrogen fueled ice cream maker and it was delicious. I can't wait to stop by the new place and try some other flavors. Check them out at twitter.com/smittenicecream.

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Which one of these three doesn't belong?

It's a picnic threesome, but Amanda didn't get the memo: No Smiles!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Concessions to an America that can no longer count

Courtesy of Sex Pigeon.

Dear God of Fog, can we have some sunshine today?

It's time for our company picnic in Golden Gate Park. And all I can see is fog. Two days ago it was in the 90s. Please Fog God (shall I call you Sutro?), let us have a few hours of sunshine.

Pedestrians 1, Drivers 0: Traffic nightmare in China

Imagine you're driving along, singing a song, eating a little snack and sipping on your diet Coke. Then, BAM! you hit a wall of traffic. Only this isn't the run of the mill type of traffic you might encounter on the Bay Bridge. No, this is the mother of all traffic jams a la Julio Cortazar. This is China, and you've been stuck in traffic for two days.

I can think of more nightmarish things: Sarah Palin as President, a McDonald's chicken McNugget, or the Marina-district on a Saturday night. But being trapped in a traffic jam that stretches for dozens of miles, lasting ten days or more, is right up there on the nightmare list. I mean look at this poor guy having to bathe himself on the highway. It's horrible. He doesn't have his proper LOOFA!

I hope, if you drive, you'll keep this image in mind the next time you're two seconds away from road rage and blaring your horn at the pedestrians who are legally crossing at the crosswalk. Remember: it could always be worse.

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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Goodbye Summer!

After three days, SF is fed up with summer. Someone at City Hall must have turned on the fog machine because it's back with a vengeance. At least it will be good sleeping weather tonight.

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Florence Henderson can fix your computer

For only $25 a month, you can get the Brady Bunch treatment for your PC. It's called the Floh Club, and I think it will be money well spent. 

Imagine it: you will install a program that, when you do something stupid, will say "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!" Or if you press the wrong key, your PC will scream "My nose!!" And, I'm pretty sure the anti-virus will feature an animated Alice cleaning up. 

In short, you need this now. 

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Good night to a steamy SF

It's a rare night when everyone in San Francisco wishes they had air conditioning. But, we'll suffer through, content in the belief our carbon footprint is smaller than yours. Sweatily yours,
Todd X

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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Ducks are not what they seem

An Update on "Vampire Knits" or "Vampire Fans Are Not Amused"

You may have read my little posting on a forthcoming knitting book called Vampire Knits. If not, you should totally read it now: Vampire Knits: When Books Go Wrong--Horribly, Horribly Wrong

Well, Team Bella is not happy.  Take a look at this comment exchange between me and "Severs" (plus an anonymous "not a sarcastic existentialist"). I just hope I haven't alienated too many vampires out there. XOXO

Aug 24, 2010
Severs Ramsey said...
Defender of books? A staunch liberal, uncompromising advocate? Hardly. Someone like that would never review a book without even reading it.More than likely, you are the jealous, undiscovered novelist mentioned above. Perhaps the words of Morrissey, another *published* wordsmith should apply to you:
"You just haven't earned it yet, baby?"
Ya dig?
Good luck with your as-yet undiscovered novel and I plan to buy three copies of "Vampire Knits" for Christmas gifts this year.

Aug 24, 2010
toddx said...
Oh Severs, it's too easy when you make my argument for me with shrill comments like this. And, no, I'm not a novelist, but I play one on tv. 

Aug 24, 2010
Severs Ramsey said...
Todd... maybe I'm just too dense to pick up on your "sarcastic existentialist" vibe, but I really don't understand what your argument IS other than you don't like a book that you haven't even read.Who knew that knitting could offend you so?

Aug 24, 2010
toddx said...
Clearly, if you knew about my tragic history with knitting, you wouldn't ask such a callous question.

Aug 24, 2010
not a sarcastic existentialist said...
I am certain that no novel was harmed in the production of a knitting book. Is it that you don't like the whole vampire thing or you don't care for knitting? I don't understand why you would spend time "reviewing" (can't really use the term, as the book hasn't been released yet...) an instruction manual and design book, rather than devote your considerable intellect to offering a discerning discussion of a more weighty tome.

Aug 24, 2010
toddx said...
I love vampires. Some of my closest friends are vampires. I just think they should live in their own neighborhoods, with their own bars, and their own bookstores. It's just better that way.As for more weighty tomes, I'm currently reading "The Passage." It's heavy. Does that count? I have a chiropractor bill that I could post, too.
P.S. This is so obviously not a review that I'm not sure you even read what I wrote. Read it, have a beer, lighten up. Oh, and don't try to drink my blood.

Aug 24, 2010
an anonymous vampire said...
Vampires do buy books on Amazon, just like the rest of you. 

Aug 24, 2010
toddx said...
I thought Prop 8 stopped that!! Back to the drawing board. You wouldn't happen to have the phone number of Thomas Monson by any chance? 

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Santa Monica Pier

The most interesting person in L.A.

His views on California's green energy policies are under-developed, but otherwise he was easily the brightest person I've met here.

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It's a Birthday Party WITH HATS!!

I managed to have three different hats on my head during Doug's birthday party last night (p.s. Genius idea, Tim). Clearly, I'm not a hat person, but I took one for the team. That was Doug's real birthday gift.

For more info on this hat phenomenon, read this.

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Saturday, August 21, 2010

Grub L.A.

Lunch today was served by the fine folks at Grub. We sat outside in their patio (note the charming wish bucket) and it was sunny and warm. I think today's high will be near 90. I had the pulled pork sandwich. It was really delicious: spicy with cabbage and a garlic aioli. Add to this the enormous glass of iced tea they brought me, and I was in porcine heaven. Afterwards we walked to Melrose and window-shopped. Seriously, the fashion leaves a lot to be desired. Ed Hardy much? Also, there aren't too many people out today. Is everyone at the beach?

Next stop, the Grove with some friends. I hope the farmers market is still going when we get there. Or at least let there be a Pinkberry.

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Friday, August 20, 2010

Why is there never any Diet Dr. Pepper?!

Dear Dr. Pepper,

I really like your products. In fact, I think Diet Dr. Pepper is superior to all other diet sodas. Why is it, then, that it's impossible to find your diet drink at any fountain? Do you not stand behind your soda? Do you think America isn't fat enough and needs more high fructose corn syrup in its diet? Or do you just hate me?

Regardless of your reasons, please fix this in the near future. Sincerely,
Todd X

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Notice anything unusual in this photo?

Behold the cause of our I-5 delay.

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Only 329 Miles To Go!

It's road trip time! We're on our way to LA for our friend Doug's (gasp!) 40th birthday. I haven't been to LA in years, so I'm looking forward to being discovered by an agent, signed to a 3-picture/2 book deal, and maybe some sun and shopping. If you have any suggestions, shout them out. LA or bust.

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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The KFC Skinwich: When a Triple Bypass Isn't Enough

It's five juicy layers of crisp golden-brown fried chicken skins, American cheese and a generous helping of bacon between two hearty buns.

Oh, sure, it's fake. But give KFC some credit: this isn't THAT far from reality.

Bon appetit!

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Amazing Book Covers

Vampire Knits: When Books Go Wrong--Horribly, Horribly Wrong


Surrender to the allure of knits inspired by the immortals we all love to fear. If you adore Twilight, True Blood, or The Vampire Diaries, this collection of 28 imaginative and beautiful projects is sure to captivate. 
   • Black capes are so 1897, instead get stylish with the dead sexy Sidhe Shrug.
   • Unleash your inner shapeshifter with the Werewolf Hat.
   • Keep warm while holding hands with your vampire by wearing these Bellisima Mittens.
   • Around humans? Use the Blood Bottle Cozies to disguise your beverage.
Whether you are wandering the Carpathian Mountains or the bayous of Louisiana, these smoldering projects—for knitters of all levels—will keep you well protected, no matter what you attract.

via randomhouse.com

Apparently, alpaca is the new black in the wilds of Transylvania (and NYC, I guess), but these Random House editors will have to pry my black cape out of my cold undead hands.

Now I'm a defender of books. A staunch, liberal, uncompromising advocate actually. But. This little DIY volume is pushing the limits. Will I defend its right to be published? Sure. Will I buy one? No. Do I think it is likely causing something of value not to be published? Probably. And that's what makes me sad. But, I have to look at it through the business lens: publishing this book make make some profit that enables RH to publish another, undiscovered and brilliant novelist. That's my hope anyway.

Oh, and although I normally shy away from "smoldering projects," I will admit that I'm intrigued by the "Blood Bottle Cozies." Do you think I could make one for my iced tea? I'm tired of being judged by the caffeine-o-phobes.

Thanks to @zenguin for sharing this!

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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Everything Touchscreen! Evolution, Technology, and Future Boundary Issues

Displax’s multi-touch technology can detect up to 16 fingers at once and can also detect air movement.

I just have to say that Displax has a unique vision for humanity's evolution: 16-fingered asthmatics with the need to touch everything. Charming.
An interactive hardware company called Displax has begun marketing Skin, a paper-thin, flexible film that would transform any non-metal surface into an interactive touchscreen.
You could place Skin on any surface, transparent or opaque, flat or curved, and use it to display any interactive content you like. Displax’s multi-touch technology can detect up to 16 fingers at once and can also detect air movement.
Skin is completely transparent and works on surfaces that are also transparent; you can place Skin on a glass surface and interact with content displayed under the glass.

Are You SF Approved?

Unless you're buying from these vendors, chances are you are NOT SF Approved. Oh the shame! Oh the heartache!! I'm seriously going to call your mom if you buy another illegal fluorescent light bulb.

In other news, San Francisco's Smugness Meter surpassed all predictions today.

About SF Approved:

In keeping with San Francisco's commitment to the Precautionary Principle, the Board of Supervisors passed legislation in 2005 requiring that all City department purchasers adhere to an approved list of environmentally preferable, or "green," products. The San Francisco Department of Environment created the SF Approved List to share the very best in authoritative green purchasing information within City government and with the world at large. To create the List, we review ingredients, recycled content, energy efficiency, and many other factors, along with collecting reports on product performance.

How much do you think someone gets paid to review these ingredients?

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Sunday, August 15, 2010

SF > Guerneville > SF

Packed up and ready to head back to SF. Good times, everyone. Gay Retreat 2010 was a roaring success!

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It hides in the bedside table

I'm not sure why this wooden turtle was hidden away in this drawer at our Russian River getaway (nor am I sure why I felt the need to open said drawer--just nosy I guess) but it was a little weird to see it peeking out when pulled the drawer out. Secret totem? Sex toy? Precious heirloom in an unsecured drawer? Or guardian of the house? Just pet it, give it thanks & your pocket change, then gently close the drawer.

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Saturday, August 14, 2010

I call this a successful weekend

I highly recommend Guerneville, warm weather, The Passage, and a watermelon margarita to you all. Cheers!

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Envious of Albinos

I think my tan is making my grey hair stand out even more. Time for some skin lightening cream.

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Thursday, August 12, 2010

Svedka is the new black

I lost the PS3 game, but I won the Moscow Mule competition.

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Don't you hate it...

when your bathroom tells you what to do?

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Todd Road: Every city needs one

Are we there yet?

Mel is ready to get out of the car and get a cocktail. I feel her pain. 30 minutes to go.

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Packed and ready to go!

Russian River or bust!

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C'mon and cookie me

Brown butter chocolate chip cookies with pecans. Yum!

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August 18th seems like a beautiful day for a wedding

Thanks again, Judge Walker. But did you really need a whole week to buy an outfit for all the weddings you've caused? :)

Final Stay Order

We're getting close to an announcement on Prop 8

Still waiting for #Prop8 stay decision outside City Hall

Regardless of Judge Walker's decision (whether or not to lift the stay), his decision still stands as an irrefutable argument against denying all consenting adults the freedom to marry their chosen partner--or, if you're Newt Gingrich, partnerS.

Ben Quayle approves of this message

Shout out to Captain Picard.

Breakfast is served

The hardest part is getting them into the "crisping" sleeve.