Wednesday, March 31, 2010

This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship

2006 Artesa Pinot Noir

And it's all mine.

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This little penguin is us, and we are in trouble

This sad little video shows Opus heading out into the barren vastness of Antarctica, undoubtedly on his way to his death. What bizarre motivation drove him to commit this act of self-destruction? Does he know that global warming is destroying his world? Have industrial toxins infected his brain and disturbed his sense of place and time? Did he read the news that Ricky Martin came out as a "fortunate homosexual"? How can we know what message he may have received or what message he needs to impart? Why, oh why, didn't I take Penguin-language in college?!

I hope you'll watch little Opus as he perambulates toward his doom. He is a metaphor for our time, for our children, for our planet. He is a mirror held up to our excess, our self-obsession, and our misery. Do not look away.

Seriously, what is up with this penguin?! Penguins are supposed to be cute and funny, goofy and quirky. Get this thing to a shrink or beat it with one of those harp seal clubs. Either way, put it out of its misery and bring on the funny animals. I need a drink.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

When Condom Ads Go Awry

The fine folks at Ads of the World have brought us this exceedingly disturbing condom advertisement for Dr. Morepen, Adam Extra Long Condoms. Hailing from India, these prophylactics apparently cause one to have a Dali-esque, LSD-fueled seizure. I recommend staying far, far away from them--farther than ten feet by the looks of these ads.

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Anatomy of a dinner: Orzo with Garlicky White Beans and Chicken Sausage

I've gotten in the habit of cooking a late dinner on Mondays. Last night was no exception. After seeing a recipe for Orzo with Garlicky White Beans and Chicken Sausage on Pithy and Cleaver, I decided to make it. Here is where I admit that I've never cooked leeks before, so there was a bit of a learning curve: how to clean them? how to cut them? how long to cook them? Thankfully, there is YouTube.

All in all, I think the dish turn out pretty well. P&C called for spicy chicken sausage, but I just had a chicken and apple sausage. So, I think the dish could have used a little more kick (I even added some red pepper flakes, but it wasn't quite enough). I also think my leeks were chopped too finely. This rustic dish needed bigger chunks of leeks in my opinion. And, I felt like it was lacking some other ingredient, but I'm not sure what. Red bell pepper for color and crunch? If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

Bon appetit!

Why is everyone attacking Vodka?


This recent article on Grubstreet San Francisco was a direct attack on everything I hold dear. Bartenders in SF are debating vodka's worth and, as they put it, its over-hyped, undeserved reputation. I remember learning that Santa Claus was a myth. I remember hearing that the Challenger had exploded. I remember the day I discovered my first gray hair. But, nothing, NOTHING compares to this. An attack on vodka is an attack on everything I hold dear. Have you tasted the pure deliciousness that is Hanger One Buddha Hand on the rocks? No? Have you lived?!!

Now, I agree that there are many other wonderful drinks out there to sample. I'm not one to stand between anyone and his or her drink of choice--unless of course I'm standing at the bar, then I'm probably in front of you. But, despite the deep complex flavor of a classic rye or the surprising spice of a well-crafted gin, I think you will have to agree that nothing satisfies the way vodka and your choice of mixer (or not) does. It's simple, it's pure, it's clear, and it's readily available.

So, bartenders of San Francisco, please pay attention: I love you. I really do. You have done so much for me. But you need to learn not to bite the hand (or potato/wheat stalk) that feeds you. If I want to order an Absolut and cranberry, please don't roll your eyes. Don't look at me like I've just driven in from Concord or Redwood City and haven't been exposed to your artisanal alcohol concoctions. I have; I really have. But, some times, yes, some times, I want to bathe in the comfort of clarity and be cradled in the arms of the alcohol of my youth. I expect not to be judged for my nostalgia. Can you do that for me? I promise to tip well.


Monday, March 29, 2010

The real reason Ricky Martin is gay

Just the thought of Tila Tequila (yes, it's Tila) bending over to pick up a Polska Kielbasa is enough to convert the 1st Marine Corps Division into a Fire Island Tea Dance. Trust me, boys, it's better than the year-long series of shots and reconstruction surgery you would have to get after touching that thing with your 10-foot pole.

I have to go throw up now. Good luck sleeping after seeing this.

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Welcome to the family, Ricky

Now it's time to really start living "La Vida Loca."

From CNN:

Pop singer Ricky Martin declared publicly this week what he avoided discussing for years: He is gay.

"I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man," Martin wrote on his official Web site. "I am very blessed to be who I am."

Martin said he decided years ago to not share "my entire truth" with the world because people he loved warned him that "everything you've built will collapse."

"Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage," he wrote. "Today I take full responsibility for my decisions and my actions."

The decision to come out was initiated a few months ago, when he began writing his memoirs, he said. "I got very close to my truth," he wrote.

"From the moment I wrote the first phrase I was sure the book was the tool that was going to help me free myself from things I was carrying within me for a long time," he wrote. "Things that were too heavy for me to keep inside."

Martin said that disclosing his secret is important because of his two sons, born via surrogate.

"To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the glow that my kids where born with," he wrote.

"Enough is enough. This has to change. This was not supposed to happen five or 10 years ago, it is supposed to happen now. Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment."

Writing the seven paragraphs, he said, "is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution."

"What will happen from now on? It doesn't matter. I can only focus on what's happening to me in this moment."

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Saturday, March 27, 2010

Looks like we're going to need a bigger cross

After studying a thousand years' worth of Last Supper paintings, Cornell investigators have discovered that the amount of food portrayed on the table of the Last Supper has increased over the past millennium. In other words, we're slowly supersizing Jesus.

“I think people assume that increased serving sizes, or ‘portion distortion,’ is a recent phenomenon,” said Brian Wansink, professor and director of the Cornell Food and Brand Lab. “But this research indicates that it’s a general trend for at least the last millennium.” I can't wait until This is why you're fat does an art retrospective. I'm pretty sure the Mona Lisa has put on a few pounds recently.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Put down the tater tots, fatty. PETA has something to tell you.

I'm loving this latest foray into social engineering by PETA. They will give Kentucky schools free veggie burgers in exchange for letting them call their kids fat advertise on the playgrounds (which, of course, fatty isn't using anyway). Oh, PETA, will you ever learn? You must advertise near the McDonald's or 7-11 if you want a snowball's chance in hell to change these kids' minds. While at school, they're zoned out on Ritalin and high fructose corn syrup. Just like the Founding Fathers wanted.

Thanks for bringing it to our attention, Vegansaurus!

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It's after 5 PM and I need this: The Vesper Cocktail at Heaven's Dog

It has vodka, gin and Lillet Blanc so it must be good. (Vodka + anything equals good, okay?)

Have a great happy hour (or three)!!

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UPDATE: I went to Heaven's Dog later that night and had a Vesper. It is not a drink to be ordered lightly. Wowza. I nursed it for the better part of an hour. The orange is very aromatic, though, and the drink is classically gorgeous. Order one to share.

Libraraoke! A Charity Event at Chronicle Books

We had snacks. And we had beer from Ironside (thanks!). But mostly, we had music. It was LIBRARAOKE!! For our first community charity fun "get to know the neighbors" event, I think it was smashing success. We raised $400 for our local library and had a blast doing it. Thanks to everyone who participated. And, yes, I work at the best place ever.


Thursday, March 25, 2010

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

President Obama approves of this blog

Oh, and giving health care to millions more Americans. But mostly this blog.

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Behold the Peach of Death! The Ten Most Toxic Fruits and Vegetables

According to the Environmental Working Group, fruits and vegetables are bad for you. Okay, just peaches, apples, bell peppers, celery, nectarines, strawberries, cherries, kale, lettuce and imported grapes (and everything else on their list). You know, all the stuff that's supposed to be good for us.

On that note, I'll be eating Twinkies and other foods laden with high fructose corn syrup for the rest of the week. That can't be bad for me, right?

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Monday, March 22, 2010

The USA, as one-big-neighborhood

This has to be Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity's worst nightmare: all of us living together and interacting and learning from and about one another. This truly blows my mind. We could all fit into New Hampshire!!

Now, I can't imagine the kind of waste management system we'd have to create (eek, the sewers, the dumps, the public restrooms), but it's still pretty amazing to think how little population density we have in this country. And that space that surrounds us separates us in more ways than one.

Okay, America, let's build up, not out, lose the cars, give Texas back to the armadillos, and choose someplace warm and beautiful for this super-neighborhood.

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San Francisco: life backwards

How odd we look from a different perspective, but still we're quite beautiful, don't you think?

What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god!

Thanks to Mujo Creations for putting this together but mostly for not filming me!

Life Backwards from Mujo Creations on Vimeo.

Baby killer says what?

Dear Representative Neugebauer, congratulations on creating a trending topic on Twitter. You should be very proud.

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Saturday, March 20, 2010

Apparently, I'm extremely progressive

Who wouldn't want to be progressive? Isn't progress the goal? Click on the photo to take the quiz yourself.

Progressive Quiz

Friday, March 19, 2010

Café Culture

Sitting in Momi Toby's this afternoon, enjoying an Anchor Steam and diving into Patti Smith's new book makes me thankful to live in a city that supports a cafe culture. I'm sitting with strangers, listening to the overhead music, and we're all doing our own thing, thinking our own thoughts, carrying on separate conversations. But we're together. Sharing the space, the Bjork song, the time away from our habitual haunts. I should take advantage of it more often. Or move to Paris.

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The Pezidential Suite: Amazing

I don't advocate the collecting of anything (except for books--that's totally normal), but this wall is pretty amazing.

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Why I took today off

Don't let me down, SF. I need to feel all 72 degrees.

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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

This is what the Democrats will teach your children

Through subtle imagery (the wood panelling) and color manipulation (gray + red + yellow = anarchy), the Obama administration is trying to undermine decades of Potassium control in this country. Potassium is okay, kids!

Don't let this happen in your state or neighborhood or school! Fight the Banana Cabal!!

(You didn't think I was going for the obvious vulgar joke, did you? You people make me SICK!)

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Marlowe: A Review


After having a drink at Bar Basic tonight (you'll have to visit Yelp for my review of the ear-splitting experience at Bar Basic--so much potential, so much volume), Rand, Lee and I went to Marlowe in San Francisco's SoMa neighborhood. Housed in the space formerly occupied by South, Marlowe offers an intimate dining experience in a rustic and cozy environment. The space is pretty small, but it didn't feel cramped. I really enjoyed the service in the restaurant. Our waitress was just cheeky enough and seemed to be having a good time. And, of course, an accent always wins over the American diner. Just think of Marlowe as your neighborhood bistro with a Australian flair.

We began with a drink at the small community table. I had a Czech dark lager that I enjoyed, but it didn't blow my mind. I'm amazed how my beer expectations have grown over the past couple of years. After drinks, Lee abandoned us and we were seated at our table.

Based on Lee's earlier suggestion, we started with the brussel sprout chips: crispy, oily, salty. If you like brussel sprouts, you will undoubtedly like these light crunchy leaves of salty goodness. For dinner, we ordered the black cod with fennel and spinach, the burger with bacon and horseradish aioli and a side of cauliflower gratin. The cod was subtle but good. The broth was definitely dunk-worthy (which reminds me that the bread was nice and soft). I think the spinach could have been a little richer or spicier, but it was a solid dish. The burger was good (ordered medium rare) and the bacon added the touch of umami that I expect. I definitely missed the pickled onions that I can get at other places (shout out to NOPA), but the horseradish aioli was a good compromise. The cauliflower was a dish of smoky cheesy veggie goodness--I recommend it. I would like to try the brown butter brussel sprouts next time, too.

For dessert, we had the Tcho Dark Chocolate Bar Pudding with creme fraiche and maple pistachios. Much like a pot de creme, it was thick and rich and chocogasmic. All the other desserts looked quite good, too. I would have been happy with any of them, but chocolate is always hard to pass up.

For dinner, I chose the Husch Pinot Noir. After it breathed a bit, it really opened up and tasted quite good. At $13 a glass, it lived up to my expectations.

All in all, Marlowe is a great addition to the neighborhood, and it really appeals to me more than South ever did. I'm looking forward to trying out several of their other dishes and stopping by for a drink (or two) after work. Here's to the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Would you let these women adopt?

Well, you might let the ones on the right, but the ones on the left are scary, right? That's what the Florida Family Policy Council is counting on. They hope the scary stereotype of the butch, bull-dyke lesbian will keep voters from supporting gay family rights. Of course, the FFPC said it was a "mistake" that they included the wrong photo (the one on the left) when they sent an alert to their members about the evils of gay adoption and a recent judge's ruling allowing the couple (on the right) to adopt their foster child (also a relative).

It's amazing how many innocent mistakes these organizations make that seem to support their hateful agendas. Surely they wouldn't lie about making these errors. . .

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Maple Bacon Morning Coffee: When You Need a Pick-Me-Up and a Bypass

Boca Java has hopped onto the bacon express with its Maple Bacon Morning brew. Bacon vodka, bacon bandages, and bacon beer mugs. We are a nation of pork.

But, I see the appeal. Who needs a well-balanced breakfast when you can get it all in liquid caffeinated form? I pity the poor suckers who have to stop by McDonald's for their (gross) solid food breakfasts. Chewing is so 2009. Maple Bacon Morning is the new reality.

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Sunday, March 14, 2010

Should I be worried about this?

Apparently, the crosswalk button on 4th street near Peet's and Whole Foods is hazardous to your health.

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UPDATE: You have to call the number on the sticker. It's amazing and not a scam or anything. It's just some crazy art project cum "Lost"-meme.

They don't need to talk anymore

Thank goodness for texting. It saved their marriage.

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Saturday, March 13, 2010

Why velocity is an evolutionarily-preferred trait

San Francisco Scarecrows?

Dolls scare me. Doll heads? Don't even go there.

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Friday night dinner at NOPA

Created with flickr slideshow.

If you are craving delicious food and can't decide among the many wonderful restaurants in San Francisco, let me make a suggestion: NOPA. It's casual upscale, open late, and always satisfies.

Last night, the BF and I wanted to get some food and we thought of NOPA. The burger! It's basically a siren's song that I constantly hear and have to resist. That night, however, the burger would be mine.

After driving around for 15 minutes (parking is generally terrible in this neighborhood--take transit or walk if you can), we finally parked and made our way inside around 9 PM. First, we stopped at the bar. If we were lucky, we could find a place to sit at the bar and just eat there. Alas, the bar was full. So, we got a drink to console ourselves: Rum Sidecar for me and a Manhattan for BF. After about fifteen minutes, I decided to put my name on the list for a table. Amazingly, both Jeff and Yasu (one of the owners and a manager) were up front and noticed me putting my name in. Yasu said they had a table and took me upstairs while the BF settled our tab and handed me drink #2--a White Manhattan for me (yum!) and a Pisco Sour for him (also quite good).

Once seated, we dove into the menu. I wanted everything. But, we settled for the grilled asparagus, calamari, flatbread, burger with blue cheese (medium rare of course), and a couple glasses of wine. We also ordered a side of cauliflower, but it (thankfully) never came. We had eaten plenty by the time we remembered ordering it: we even skipped dessert.

I don't say this lightly, but everything was delicious. The asparagus (my first of the season) was grilled to perfection: it's the perfect treatment for this veggie. The calamari was tender, the croutons crunchy and the sauce or jus was off the chain. As always, the flatbread lived up to its reputation. It had sausage and broccolini on it. Finally, the burger came medium rare on a house-made bun with blue cheese, aioli and pickled onions. I could eat one every day.

NOPA, you are easily my favorite restaurant. Thank you for the good times and good food. Now, what's for dinner tonight?

Friday, March 12, 2010

The Rain Has Passed

And just like that, we have sunshine at the day's end. Here's to a great weekend.

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The Mc10:35 is why you're fat

I first read about this in The Consumerist and then noticed that Asylum did some investigative journalism around this untouchable monstrosity of culinary insanity. The Mc10:35 is a combination of a McDonald's Egg McMuffin and a McDouble, both ordered simultaneously at 10:35, which is supposedly a rare time when one can order from both the breakfast and lunch menus. After purchasing the raw materials, you should take the egg and Canadian bacon from the Egg McMuffin and put it on the McDouble. You have now created the Mc10:35 and undermined everything Michael Pollan stands for.

Behold the terror that is the Mc10:35.


It's alive!! And I'm sure it's sponsored by Heart Surgeons of America, the makers of Lipitor, and Jenny Craig. I hope you order a Diet Coke to go with it.

Like it used to be, you know? Nontraditional family values may be excluded in Florida

The good ol' days. Remember those? It looks like Florida wants to use its tax dollars to re-create them.

Movies and TV shows with gay characters could be ineligible for a "family-friendly" tax credit in Florida under a little-noticed provision tucked into a $75 million incentive package that Republican House leaders hope will attract film and entertainment jobs to the state.

The bill would prohibit productions with "nontraditional family values" from receiving a so-called family-friendly tax credit. But it doesn't define what "nontraditional family values" are, something the bill's sponsor had a hard time doing, too.

"Think of it as like Mayberry," state Rep. Stephen Precourt, R-Orlando, said, referring to The Andy Griffith Show. "That's when I grew up — the '60s. That's what life was like. I want Florida to be known for making those kinds of movies: Disney movies for kids and all that stuff. Like it used to be, you know?"

Like pornography, nontraditional values are hard to define. But Florida politicians know them when they see them. And they see them whenever they look in the mirror or watch "Nick at Night" or think fondly about the separate but equal drinking fountains and raids on the queer clubs. Well, Florida, those days are thankfully over. But, as long as we're on a "good ol' days" kick, I recall a time when Florida belonged to Spain. Now those were good times.


He doesn't just watch Nascar; He lives it.

How can anyone compete with this Guy on the track? It's totally unfair. With the wave of His hand or the twitch of His nose, He can make your car explode or veer off-course. And how does He reconcile all the people praying to Him to win when He's zipping around the course at 200 MPH?

I have to say, though, that His jacket is to die for. Those decals are amazing. I need the "Alpha/Omega" one for my Timbuktu bag.

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I think I want to be here

village of color

It's Friday and I deserve a road trip.  Where do you want to go this weekend?

Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Delicious Sweet Treat from Sandra Lee

Let's be honest.  Any of us on super slow-mo would look pretty weird.  Having said that, contextually, this is pretty awesome.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Emo Hitler: His trains to Auschwitz aren't so rigidly scheduled

Oh, I got this from my friend Kevin and had to share. Don't hate him too much. Kevin, I mean, not Hitler. I guess you can hate Hitler still. And check out

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Husbands and . . . husbands? Perhaps the children are the future.

I know everyone in the world is linking to and sharing this video, so allow me to join the crowd. Typically, I'm a glass half-empty sort of guy, but this. . . this little video, this young man, this utter lack of judgment. . . well, it took me by surprise. I hope you enjoy it, too.

Unsarcastically (for this brief moment) yours,
Todd X

UPDATE: They made the video private, so we can't see it anymore. What a shame.

How I will remember Corey Haim

In the tub in Lost Boys, Corey will be forever young and not at all Mickey Rourke-like.  Rest peacefully in our memories, you little vampire hunter.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Would you cancel your newspaper subscription because of this photo?

You probably wouldn't if you're reading this blog, but some of the Washington Post's readers did not enjoy seeing this controversial (if not fundamentally vulgar and pornographic) photograph on the front page of their daily newspaper.

"Think of the children!" they cried. (Isn't that what they always cry?) "The nation's capitol is the new Sodom!!" was another rallying slogan of intolerance and atavistic morality. "Big, color photos of homosexuals hugging and smooching shows pure contempt for the values of the vast majority of Americans" according to reader "battleground51." [emphasis mine]

Contempt, however, was the furthest thing from the minds of the editors at the Washington Post. Andrew Alexander, the paper's ombudsman, makes the paper's position clear:

Did the Post go too far? Of course not. The photo deserved to be in [the] newspaper and on its Web site, and it warranted front-page display.

News photos capture reality. And the prominent display reflects the historic significance of what was occurring. The recent D.C. Council decision to approve same-sex marriage was the culmination of a decades-long gay rights fight for equality. Same-sex marriage is now legal in the District. The photo of Ames and Ariga kissing simply showed joy that would be exhibited by any couple planning to wed – especially a couple who previously had been denied the legal right to marry.

There was a time, after court-ordered integration, when readers complained about front-page photos of blacks mixing with whites. Today, photo images of same-sex couples capture the same reality of societal change.

I think Shakespeare said it best (doesn't he always?):

There is a tide in the affairs of men,
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.

This tide is in our favor. Bigots beware.

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Our army is a billion strong and growing.

Monday, March 8, 2010

The Oscars! An Alternative Ballot for 2010


Yet again, my friends and I got together to celebrate the science and art of film.  Okay, we had cocktails, wine, beer, pizza, and dished on the whole thing.  What else are friends for?

It is a tradition that we cast our votes on the traditional Oscar categories plus some amazing alternative questions that are brilliantly composed by the host(s) of the party.  I thought you might get a kick out of these and/or want to spread the tradition.

Oscar® 2010 Supplemental Ballot (with answers)

1. How many time will natural disasters be mentioned?
a. zero (X)
b. 1-2
c. 3-4
d. 5+

2. If Sandra Bullock wins, will she make a self-deprecating remark?
a. Yes (X)
b. No

3. Will anyone be on stage painted blue like in Avatar?
a. Yes (X)
b. No

4. Which host speaks first?
a. Steve Martin (X)
b. Alec Baldwin

5. Mickey Rourke's hair
a. Up
b. Down (alas, n/a this year)

6. How many people will cry on stage? (Note: tears must run down cheeks or be wiped away.)
a. zero (X)
b. one
c. two
d. three
e. four or more

7. Will we get a glimpse of Mo'Nique's unshaved legs during the telecast (not red carpet)?
a. yes
b. no (X)

8. Will Michael Jackson be featured in the "In Memoriam"?
a. Yes (X)
b. No

9. If Mo'Nique or Gaby Sidibe wins, will the camera pan to someone in the audience who has no connection to the actress other than race?
a. Yes (X)
b. No

10. Will any men on stage in a suit or tux be sans necktie?
a. yes (X)
b. no

11. Will either host make a bad joke about James Cameron and Katherine Bigelow being divorced?
a. yes (X)
b. no

12. If Cameron wins best director, whom does the camera pan to after Cameron?
a. Bigelow
b. Cast member
c. Other nominee (n/a this year)

13. Will anyone mention Susan Sarandon and vomit?
a. yes
b. no (X)

Caffeine Addiction: San Francisco's finest vs Starbucks or "The Problem with Hoodies"


Reading "SF Appeal" today, I came across this great little story about a police officer who was jonesing real bad for his morning coffee. He needed it so bad, in fact, that he tried to abuse his authority to get his caffeine kick:

Maybe last week you saw this SF Weekly blog post about a SFPD cop said to have done some pretty shocking things, including hitting up an undercover hooker (he got 2 months suspension for that one), who recently retired "with full benefits."

Neither he nor his lawyer would tell the Weekly why he left the force, but Matier and Ross have an idea: they say that Lankford wanted to get into a West Portal Starbucks before it was open, and

wearing a hoodie and dressed in his street clothes - began knocking on the door.

When the female clerk ignored him, Lankford allegedly pulled out his badge and began rapping it against the glass.

No luck, so Lankford supposedly stormed off.

Soon after, sources say, the lieutenant returned, this time in uniform, and angrily accused the store of refusing to serve him earlier because he is black.

M&R say that the incident got back to his bosses, who suspended him again -- so he quit.

Of course, as I read this, all I can think is Starbucks? Seriously? I mean, it's fine, but not "jeopardize your job" fine.

Now, I'm not one to judge (oh, who am I kidding? Let the judging begin!), but I have a couple problems with this. First, I have no problem with the officer wanting his coffee, rapping his badge against the window, threatening small children to get a latte, or shooting puppies for a cooling sip of iced tea. But a HOODIE?! Can we please pay these officers some more money so they can leave the house dressed in something half-way decent? Also, I think accusing the staff of not serving him because he is black is a low blow. They didn't want to serve him because he was black AND wearing the aforementioned hoodie. Now, can you blame them? West Portal has its standards to maintain after all.

Cheers, Starbucks!

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When Sea Levels Attack!


I take two bits of consolation from this graphic:

1. I'll be long dead in 200 years, so I don't have to worry about leaving San Francisco any time soon.

2. It looks like SF is going to outlast L.A., so there may be some justice in the world after all.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Tonight, we celebrate! But, let us not put too much stock in the Oscar® myth

It's a great show, but a show nonetheless. Poor Paul had to wait until 1986 to win one of these little statuettes.

Having said that, I can't wait to get together with friends to watch and dish and laugh about it all. And I better win the betting pool this year! What will the prize be? I'm hoping for a puppy or Bakon Vodka. Oh, well. Mix either one with some lime and soda, and I'll drink it. Cheers!

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Some days are more exciting than others


And some are like this.

I hope you had a good day.

Saturday, March 6, 2010


The wilds of San Francisco are infested with raccoons. I saw a couple tonight after getting some Bi-Rite ice cream (Coffee Toffee and Vanilla Malt in case you were wondering). One ran away, but the other stared me down. I walked away then went back to snap a pic. I caught him drinking/playing in the puddle. Then he sensed my presence and skittered away.

Be careful out there. These things are rabid and/or carriers of the zombie virus.

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The Stars over Mauna Kea (time-lapse)

Watch this on full-screen in HD.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Gaga In Wonderland

Lady Gaga collides with "Alice in Wonderland" and creates "Gaga in Wonderland." Someone had a lot of time on his hands.

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Suing CBS for broadcasting penile surgery, or "How not to get a date"


I had never heard the term "pearly penile papules" before today, and now I wish I never had. I feel bad for Mr. Bowling, but is suing CBS really the way to bury this tragic event in his life?

Here's the story:
A patient claims the producers of CBS TV show "The Doctors" tricked him into appearing before a live studio audience to undergo laser surgery for "pearly penile papules," then broadcast his penis operation without his consent.

Pearly penile papules are harmless, noncontagious, skin-colored bumps.

Plaintiff Tyler Bowling, 21, of Minneapolis, says he suffered "relentless embarrassment and harassment" in phone calls and emails from acquaintances and strangers since the show's producers tricked him into appearing on "The Doctors."

I'm skeptical about the "tricked" part. Everyone is such a media whore these days (hey, have you checked out Iced Tea & Sarcasm?!!) and clamoring to get their 15 minutes of fame, so I find it hard to believe that the man didn't notice the cameras, the CBS producers, and the contract/waiver he undoubtedly had to sign. Give us a break, dude. And, please keep that thing away from us. Thanks.

Found at work: Got Headache?

People must be stressed out here.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

It's no Cowgirl Creamery: Mommy's Milk Cheese


Oh, yes. You read that right. "Mommy's Milk Cheese" has finally been produced and you should be afraid. Chef Daniel Angerer (I think he's angry because he can't afford real cheese) decided to experiment with his partner's breast milk when they ran out of room in their freezer. Waffling between donating it to Haiti and experiment with it in an unholy and nauseating way, the chef chose the latter. What you see above is the end result. It may look like an innocuous goat's milk cheese, but I assure you IT IS NOT!

According to Grub Street New York:
Angerer says his wife’s milk reminds him of the cow’s milk that he’d pick up, as a child, from a farm in Austria: “It was still warm and it would sour the next day.” Angerer says that two gallons of the mother’s milk yielded almost two quarts of cheese. “After two weeks aging, it was somewhat like a raw-milk cheese — it had all the flavors in there. It tastes just like really sweet cow’s milk. It wasn’t like, ‘Hey, this is such an amazing cheese.’ It’s just like, ‘Can you use human milk? Yes, you absolutely can!’” In short, it’ll do in a pinch.

In a pinch, I'd rather eat Velveeta, Kraft singles, or any brand of Squeeze Cheeze. Please, in the name of all that is good and full of light in this world, make it stop and, I'm begging you, do not serve this to me at your next wine and (gulp) cheese party.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Calories, Schmalories: How much caffeine do they have?


No, seriously. I can run off the calories (and by "run off," I mean "hope to burn off by clicking my mouse button and remote control a thousand times--that burns calories, right?"). But, if I drop below a certain caffeinated level, there will be hell to pay. Starbucks, pony up: how can I get the most caffeine bang for my buck?

And check out "Call Me Thirsty." It seems pretty cool.

Vegan Boys Just Aren't Hot

Besides being a cute song, this video generated a plethora of amusing comments when it was posted at Vegansaurus. The self-seriousness of the vegan community is almost as funny as their sweaters.

Dudes, we get it. You're saving the world one radish at a time. Now take a chill pill and enjoy the joke. Life is short.

Ken: The New (Flamingly Gay) "Toy Story" Character


The shorts, the scarf, the shoes, the color of them all, and the pattern of that shirt!! Do you think Ken will be hitting on Cowboy Bob (or whatever his name is--I haven't seen any of these movies)? Or will he be the asexual, lisping butt of all the other characters' jokes? I guess you'll have to wait and see and then report back.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Is this the Caffeine Tipping Point? I say emphatically "NO!"

There are those moments in one's life when corporate interests and popular imagination intersect to form a nexus of "OMG. No they didn't." But, I'm here to tell you, "Yes, they did." Just when you had resigned yourself to the consumption of a paltry 20 oz of your favorite coffee drink, Starbucks has come along and pulled the rug out from under you.

Behold the "Trenta." It's a 32 oz serving of café latte, café au lait, iced Sumatran, or plain old Joe. And it is FABULOUS. Finally, "they" have heard my wailing and gnashing of teeth. Why must I refill my glass every hour?! Why can't I get an extra 12 oz of caffeinated liquid bliss and save myself the walk to my local Starbucks? Why doesn't everyone understand that you can't trust anyone under 30 nor any drink under 30 oz?!!

The ranting and the waiting is over. Trenta, you had me at buon giorno.

P.S. Besides being named after a town in Southern Italy, isn't it obvious that it refers to "30" too?

Posted via web from toddx's posterous

When you can't drink in the shower. . .

Supposedly, it's not socially acceptable to drink and bathe--at least that's what the nice policeman told me when I was ordered out of the UN Plaza fountain. However, the Wine & Spirits Soap Shop has solved my moral dilemma with their delicious, I mean, cleansing Apple Vodka soap. No longer will my martini glass fill up with the suds from my Aveda shampoo. Now, the suds themselves will be a tasty pick-me-up for the day ahead.

Ah, Etsy, you've outdone yourself with this one. Next stop, caffeinated toothpaste.


Posted via web from toddx's posterous

Monday, March 1, 2010

Contrarian Mondays with Todd X.: Sit/Lie Laws in San Francisco


I am one of the biggest theoretical liberals you will ever meet. Basically, like Mrs. Madrigal, I have no objection to anything. But, I'm sure it will come as no surprise that I'm in favor of Sit/Lie Laws for San Francisco. Have you been to the Haight recently? These street kids (some of whom are probably taking a sabbatical from their Ivy League schools to "find themselves" on Haight/Ashbury) are a menace with their dogs and patchouli and skateboards and stinky dreadlocks. Why, there ought to be a law!! Wait a minute. There is a law and such totalitarian, conservative-leaning cities as Seattle and Berkeley have used it. Yes, it's a Sit/Lie Law. It doesn't outlaw homelessness or target elderly people who are out of breath and need to sit down and have a seizure. It's another tool for local law enforcement to deal with a growing problem.

Many people wonder why can't the police simply use existing loitering laws. Unfortunately, these laws require a citizen complaint. With the sit/lie law, officers could take action on their own. And that's probably a good thing. We don't exactly have a history of rampant police harassment and intimidation in SF, but we DO have a growing body of stories about people being harassed by street kids and the crazy homeless. Residents and business owners in the Haight are scared to files complaints against loiterers because of the threats they've received.

I want SF to be as progressive and free-loving as the next Starbucks-swilling, iPhone toting, college-educated pinko Commie liberal, but there comes a time when the citizens must say "Enough." Otherwise, those who would simply take advantage of our world-famous hospitality will use it up, smoke it up, step on it and kick it into the gutter and we will be left with a shell of a city.

But, hey, while the Board of Supervisors is at it, can they go ahead outlaw homelessness, old people who walk too slowly, parents with their giant irritating strollers who claim the right of way no matter what, and snotty blond women who drive their Scions too fast out of the Safeway parking garage and nearly run me over? That would be great. Thanks.

scion of death

I Want: Wired Magazine on the iPad

I didn't think I wanted an iPad until I watched this. Now, I want. I'll need help to hold out for the iPad 2.0. Can I count on you all for support?