On the Morality of Ice Bins

Originally uploaded by Todd X.
I believe I can tell a lot about you by checking your freezer. No, not the Trader Joe's Potato Medley or Tony's frozen pizza. It's the ice. I'm convinced that the ice bin is a window into one's moral center.

Is your ice bin full? 90% empty? Filled with the remains of ice flecks from ice cubes of yesteryear? Or do you lack a bin entirely? Relying, instead, on the leftover bag from Safeway that you picked up the last time you had guests over to watch the Soprano's finale? I pity you.

I have no fewer than 7 (yes, seven) ice cube trays in my freezer. One came with the freezer. I bought two more before my belongings arrived from Hawai'i. When my container arrived, I had four more to add to the collection. I felt like the Warren Buffet of Ice. Billions of potential ice cubes stretched out before me, and I was determined to keep that bin full.

Which brings me to another point: do you use all the ice and never dump up fresh ice? Have you no soul?!

If you're sitting there thinking, "But my ice maker does all the work for me," then let me tell you something. You're weak, immoral, and basically half-dead. Ice making is life. Leave it to the machine at your peril.

Seriously, keep ice in your freezer, friends. When I come over, I'm going to want something cool to drink: vodka cranberry, iced tea, water, did I say vodka? Think of the children!!!


Keep it cool.


Anonymous said…
How ironic it is that I am actually online thinking about this - ice.

I've gone in a whole new direction and I like it. I do have an ice bin, although I'm pissed that there is seemingly only one type and color in the whole world, made by Rubbermaid. In any case, tired of constantly emptying ice trays and having them fill up my freezer, I did away with ice cube trays altogether.

I fill up the ice bin itself, and when it's completely frozen, I use my ice pick and break up the ice into lovely, irregular chunks, large and small. That looks especially cool in drinks, kinda rustic. My guests are always amazed at the "trouble" I go through just for this, but I like imperfection and how nice to have a glass full of little floating sculptures to ponder while you become intoxicated, as opposed to the perfectly similar shaped square (or whatever other shape) blocks.

Very sexy. Try it.

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