Book burnings

via asofterworld.com

Check out www.asofterworld.com. They are pretty witty.

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Your Body Is A Machine

Check out the Good Natured if you haven't yet. Some people are calling her the next Kate Bush.

Tim Gunn vs. Superheroes: Fashion is the new Kryptonite

I never tire of Tim's random phrases and judgments. "Resolve the skirt!" is my go-to rallying cry.



On the superhero Canary: "Frankly as a superhero, I would take her much, much more seriously [minus the fishnets]. Because she looks like she's ready for combat. What is she ready for here? A cocktail and a little roll in the hay?"

You can't handle the truth!

Okay, maybe you can after a shot or two of a nice rye whiskey.

Eyjafjallajökull takes no prisoners

And there's nothing we can do to stop it. Makes you feel kind of small, doesn't it?

What's Your Super Power?

Meat in SF: The Psychoanalysis of Burgers

It's lunch time. Who wants a cheeseburger? I've never been to 4505, but this burger seems like the perfect reason to visit. What is it with burgers and desire? I remember my college philosophy professor using using a cheeseburger to illustrate an argument about desire. Clearly, these cheesy meat patties are some sort of Jungian archetype that we can no longer ignore.

Check out SF Eater: Farr Out: 4505's Burgeoning Ferry Plaza Burger Business

4505 Cheeseburger. [Photo: Kate Newborn]

Weekend Drinks: The Escapology

via SFist

The brilliant (and clearly alcoholic) editors at SFist have found yet another drink winner in San Francisco: The Escapology. Yes, it has elderflower liqueur, and yes, they refer to it as "the bacon of the cocktail world," but this drink sound delicious and refreshing. Plus, you get some of your daily requirement of vegetables (that is why they put the cucumber in there, right?). If you're in Union Square, stop by Burger Bar and try this drink out. Or, just go to BevMo, get the ingredients and make yourself a punchbowlful at home. (Grande be damned. Punchbowl is my preferred drink size)

The Escapology

1.5 oz. Ocho Plata tequila (or other silver, unaged tequila)

0.5 oz. St. Germain

1 oz. fresh lime juice

0.75 oz simple syrup

Four thin slices of cucumber

Fever Tree bitter lemon soda

In a shaker, muddle the cucumber with a splash of syrup. Add the rest of the ingredients besides the bitter lemon and shake vigorously. Strain over ice and top with the soda.

I guess I'll be tanning south of Pleasure Island now: No Thongs on Kure Beach!

[from AP] A North Carolina town that the mayor called "Mayberry with a beach" has banned swimmers from wearing thongs. Kure Beach Mayor Dean Lambeth said "we're going to keep this as close to Mayberry with a beach as you can keep it," referring to the idyllic Southern community portrayed on the 1960s TV series "The Andy Griffith Show."

The Star-News of Wilmington reported that the town council voted Thursday to add a ban against the revealing swimwear to its existing ordinance against nudity.

The move came after the police chief received an e-mail earlier in the week asking if the town's existing nude bathing ordinance allowed thongs.

The ordinance bans nudity or "insufficient clothing," and the man wanted to know if thongs were allowed for both men and women.

"We try to do everything we can toward being a family oriented beach," Mayor Pro Tem Chuck Keener said.

Inappropriate swimwear on Kure Beach was a problem about five years ago, Lambeth said, but not in recent years. The ordinance applies to all of Kure Beach, though not to the three miles of federally owned beaches on the south end of Pleasure Island, Lambeth said.

It's FRIDAY! Are you as excited as this?

Seriously, I don't care if today was the Second Coming meets Christmas meets iPhone HD Release Day meets "the test came back negative," you will never be this excited. So, let's all be nostalgic for the 80s for a minute. . . . Ah, neon, big hair, excess and cocaine. We miss you.

Coming soon to a gas station near you

via socialitelife.celebuzz.com

Bobby Trendy's recession chic really fits with his new job. Oh, and Bobby, don't forget to wash the windows and check the fluid levels. kthxbye!

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Finally, a valid reason for recycling: Vodka Lamps!

Recycling sucks, but we all look better in the filtered gauzy light of our local watering hole and after a few dozen shots. Thanks to the magic of this designer's unhealthy drinking habits and a state-supported vocational training program, you can now re-create this "Light of the Vodka Gods" any time you want.

Check them out on Etsy.

WANTED: Strawberry shortcake and some diet pills

From SF Appeal: Goodies by Anna: Strawberry Shortcakes



The local roadside strawberry stand opened back up for business, so I thought a Strawberry Shortcake would be a great introduction to spring.

I diced up freshly washed strawberries and mixed them with a splash of Grand Marnier Liqueur and a sprinkle of vanilla sugar. The biscuit should be tender but able to soak up all the strawberry juices without falling apart or tasting dry and bland.

This drop biscuit recipe does just that with its slightly dense yet tender texture and warm biscuity-buttery flavor that pairs so well with the fresh berries. Just whip up a little whipped cream and you have a terrific dessert using fresh, local fruit. Here is how you can make your own:

Start by washing and dicing the strawberries. Add to the bowl a splash of Grand Marnier Liqueur and a sprinkle or two of vanilla sugar to taste (I make my own vanilla sugar by placing a vanilla bean in a small container with granulated sugar). Mix together and let set while you make the biscuits.

I used this fabulous recipe based on one from Cook's Illustrated Magazine:

Shortcake Biscuits- makes 6

- 2 cups (10 ounces) all purpose flour

- 2 teaspoons baking powder

- 1 Tablespoon granulated sugar

- 3/4 teaspoon salt

- 2/3 cup cold buttermilk

- 1 large egg

- 8 tablespoons butter, melted and cooled slightly
- 1 Tablespoon granulated sugar for sprinkling

Preheat oven to 475 and place parchment or a silpat on a baking sheet and set aside. Place a medium bowl and beaters into refrigerator to chill for whipped cream.

Whisk together the flour, baking powder, 1 Tablespoon sugar and salt in large bowl. Set aside.

In a medium bowl whisk together the buttermilk and egg. Add the melted butter and stir until small clumps form.

Add the butter mixture to the flour mixture and stir until well combined and dough comes together. Make sure no clumps of dry flour remain.

Using an ice cream scoop or a 1/3 cup dry measure, scoop out mounds of dough and place on baking sheet around 1 1/2 inches apart to create six biscuits.

Sprinkle remaining 1 tablespoon of sugar over tops of biscuits and bake for 15 minutes (watch carefully) until tops are golden brown and crisp. Transfer biscuits to wire rack and let cool at least 15 minutes before assembling the shortcake.

While the biscuits are cooling, make the whipped cream. Take the bowl and beaters out of the refrigerator. Pour around 1/2 cup cold whipping cream, splash of vanilla extract and sugar-to-taste into the cold bowl.

Start beating the cream on low speed until bubbles form then increase speed to medium, as the cream becomes thicker switch to high speed and beat until the creams forms soft peaks.

To assemble the shortcakes, split each biscuit in half with a serrated knife and spoon some berries and juice on the bottom half of each biscuit. Top the berries with a generous helping of whipped cream and cap with the biscuit top.

Serve immediately. The biscuits can be made 24 hours in advance, just keep in an airtight container until ready to use.

San Francisco. Not Smug. Just Better.

from SFist

MSNBC Kicks Donny Deutsch Off the Air after Criticism of Keith Olbermann et al.

via mediabistro.com

Is there much difference between these people and this classic Network moment?

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In honor of Earth Day, I will compost all the dead gray whales

It's the least I can do.

Garbage found in stomachs of dead beached whale on Earth Day

I'm Giving Up Muni For This

The world would be a better place if we all rolled around in our bookcases. Look out, Detroit! The publishing world is coming after you.

San Francisco Muni: The Illustrated Edition

The back half of the Muni 30 line bus I was on today was a veritable chalk-pocalypse. How would anyone have time to do this uninterrupted? Do the cameras REALLY not work?! Do the drivers really not pay attention? Shocking.

Also, our driver must have been new. She drove slowly, blocked traffic, and made a wrong turn, prompting most passengers to get off the bus since we didn't know where we would end up. On second thought, this is more S.O.P. than I'm willing to admit. Oh Muni. Quo vadis?

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Dead gray whale spotted in San Francisco Bay

via sfgate.com

Oh no! Don't look in the stomach whatever you do!!!!!

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Gray Whales Eat Garbage So You Don't Have To

A gray whale that washed up in West Seattle held a nice surprise for researchers: a stomach full of garbage!


COSTANZA!!!

Finally, we can quit worrying about the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. If we leave it alone, all the cute little sea creatures will just eat it up for us: NOM NOM NOM.

Sure, one or two of them might die get a tummy ache, but it's nothing that American ingenuity can't solve. Therefore, I propose we begin the great Pepto Project. With your help, we can raise the $50 million needed to pump four million gallons of Pepto Bismol into the Pacific Ocean. This little pink bump is all the fishies need to completely devour the rest of that disgusting 51st state garbage island. Go Little Mermaid, go!!

"Whales Weep Not"

It's not easy being green

       

Good morning! Don't forget to put on your face.

Aren't you glad it's Monday. . . again?  I hope your week is as glamorous as this.

Did you know the Pope snores?

It only happens during Mass, though.

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Now you can have any view you want

Here's how they did it.

Imagine the effect on apartment living. Who cares where your apartment is or what floor it's on? With this installed, you can be anywhere you want. Now, can they install an entire wall like this and will running it 24/7 cost too much?

The latest from SPAM: Unicorn Meat with extra sparkles

Now I'm hungry for dolphin. Can anyone recommend a good sushi place?

The Wattle Shop

Yes, I said "wattle." Didn't anyone watch Ally McBeal?

What do artists eat?

Skinny is the new chocolate. Pain is the new pleasure. Enjoy.



Check out more at Boner Petit! if you dare.

One bottle of vodka + 12 seconds

This man is my hero. Can a Russian alcoholic run for President?

Not only is he an octopus, he's also an amateur photographer

I hope you haven't yet had a chance to see this cute video of the octopus attack with a happy ending. Look, they, the octopi, were here long before us. We shouldn't be surprised when they choose to play with us every once in a while.

And have you seen the one where it unlocks the gate to get at the fish in the aquarium?! These things are sneaky.

We're Doomed! Coronal Mass Ejection Heading Toward Earth

I hope you all have fresh sunscreen in your medicine cabinets.

from SLOG

Yesterday, a massive solar prominence in the shape of a bucking bronco erupted from the sun. This mind-bogglingly huge explosion sent a coronal mass ejection hurtling toward Earth's magnetosphere. It should be delivering a 'glancing blow' sometime around Saturday.

According to a report released last year, a period of intense solar activity in 2012 coinciding with an 'unusually large hole in Earth's geomagnetic shield' could be curtains.

Entitled "Severe Space Weather Events — Understanding Societal and Economic Impacts," [the report] describes the consequences of solar flares unleashing waves of energy that could disrupt Earth’s magnetic field, overwhelming high-voltage transformers with vast electrical currents and short-circuiting energy grids. Such a catastrophe would cost the United States '$1 trillion to $2 trillion in the first year,' concluded the panel, and 'full recovery could take 4 to 10 years.' That would, of course, be just a fraction of global damages.

They're not all priests

Some are game show hosts named Fergie Olver from the 80s show Just Like Mom. I'm sure this is going to creep you out for the rest of the weekend. I miss Richard Dawson.

For @geoff_w on his birthday

For people who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they'll like.

Seattle Glee Flash Mob

from Joe.My.God

I've been away from Seattle too long. Look what's happened. The gays have taken over Westlake Plaza and forced all of downtown Seattle to participate in their sick Glee-fest. Doesn't this look like fun? I know, I know: Flash mobs are so over. But I still love them. Give me public art and passion any day.

Now, who's looking forward to the Madonna-themed Glee next week? Moisture!!

Sin tastes good! #idrankthis

This 2007 Sin Zin Zinfandel was the liquid companion to my dinner tonight. At a mere $13.99 (on sale), Sin Zin is a drinkable, not very spicy Zin. With the (overly) salty dinner I made tonight, it was a good counterpoint. This was the third bottle I've had of this wine but the first I've gotten to taste. Ah, that's life with wine.

Was it worth the wait? On sale, yes. But at full price, there are other wines I'd rather drink.

Cheers!

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Taste Test: The new Milky Way Simply Caramel

I love Milky Ways. My preferred way to eat them is chilled. Just pop them in the fridge and then enjoy the cool milk chocolate-y, nougat-y, caramel-y goodness. Imagine my surprise yesterday when I walked up to the Walgreen's checkout and noticed this new addition to the ©Mars family. No nougat, just caramel. Hey, I like caramel.

89¢ later, I was the proud owner of this new Willy Wonka-esque concoction. And now I'm eating it--almost 24 hours later. I call that willpower.

It's good. It's less delicate than a Ghirardelli chocolate-caramel square; but, if you like caramel and don't want to splurge on the Ghirardelli OR if you're just anti-nougat (check out Kibology), then give it a shot. I think you'll like it.

I need to go purge now.

San Francisco is for Skateboarders

I don't like the black marks they leave on the concrete. I don't like it when they roar past me on the sidewalk. I don't like it when they ignore traffic lights. And I really don't like it when they jump up on the bench in this video (people sit there, dudes). But, it looks like a lot of fun and I'm amazed how these guys can fly. . . .

San Francisco's Embarcadero

I live here. Not bad, huh?

I like getting up on Saturday and walking down the Embarcadero, with other people walking, biking, skating around. The bay is on one side and a busy street is on the other. It's the left margin of the country, the West Coast, and I love it. Typically, Rand and I stop by Peet's in the Ferry Building or Tcho for a Mocha, then we might head up to the Filbert Steps or walk around downtown SF for a bit. If it's sunny, all I really want to do is bask in the warmth awhile.

Where do you like to go in your city?

From Caliber SF: The Embarcadero in San Francisco

50¢ Drinks While They Last at the LookOut on Tax Day

If you have nothing else to do today at 4 PM, may I recommend the Lookout? You can drown your sorrows and forget about the wars and bailouts and government waste that your taxes are funding. Yay!

50¢ Drinks While They Last at the LookOut on Tax Day

Beat the Clock Happy Hour

The LookOut

3600 16th Street (@ Market)

Following up on the smoking theme

I give you Exhibit B: Lauren Bacall. Smoking = cool.

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I have the hottest iPhone wallpaper

Seriously, does it get much better than Mia Farrow looking serious and smoking a cigarette?

I'm sorry, Surgeon General, but smoking does make people look cool.

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Things we left behind

Found on Townsend Street, SF, CA.

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The Ducklings Are Dead! Long Live The Ducklings!

Sad news. My duckling Magnolia and her brothers, Yoda and Bob, vanished from their new pond-home last week. My parents suspect coyotes. I think it was aliens.

Luckily, ducks are cheap (chirp?). So, I have a new duck. What should I name this one?

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My Santa Cruz Weekend As A List

Slept in a little on Friday
Packed
Did some work
Went to work
Doughnuts and coffee from Dynamo
On the road
Pacifica Taco Bell
Stopped a runaway beach ball
Grilled Stuft Chicken Burrito
Highway 1
Arrival in Santa Cruz



Unloaded the car
Said hello to the place we stayed in 2008
Loving West Cliff
Found site for future home



Put on my walking shoes
Explored West Cliff
Sun on my face
Traded shorts for pants
Santa Cruz Mountain Brewing
Time for beer #1: Amber



Beer #2: Witches' Wit
Bonny Doon Tasting Room
Tastings are done for the day
Sadness
Back to the house
Reservations at Soif
Changed clothes again
Walking, walking, walking



2.4 miles to Soif
8 PM reservations turn into 8:45 PM
Thankful for the wine shop
Vermentino is oddly salty, minerally, good
Seated, menus, another glass of wine
Beef cheek ravioli desire
No more beef cheeks
Again, sadness
Crab cakes, lamb meatballs, Brussels sprouts, potato wedges and pork chop
Nebbiolo apotheosis
Happiness



Exploring Santa Cruz at night
Cookies for $1 each
Walking back
No taxi
Sleep



New day
Kelly's French Bakery
Scone, poached eggs, sourdough toast, coffee
Still no rain
More walking
Book Shop Santa Cruz



Boardwalk and roller coasters
Advil
Super burrito de la Hacienda
Text from friends
More walking
Overcast



More cookies
Finally, a bus!
Naptime



Meet up with friends at Soif
Recognized by waiter and hostess
Glass of wine purchased for me by Rosie and Kathy
Friends for life
Leave to meet up with other friends
Watch them eat
Two margaritas
Pizza, street fight, end of night, race tomorrow



Cold, rain, wind
Early morning to see runners
Quick visit to Kelly's for breakfast
Back to see runners on the return
Hurricane-proof umbrella defeating the wind
Packing up
Lunch with all the friends
Tasting at Bonny Doon



Surprise food tasting from the manager
Amazing pizza that I want to be buried with
Two bottles to go
A vintage of memories
Leaving the rain behind in Santa Cruz
Back in the city
Dinner at Suppenkuche
Time to rest, purge, and bask in the 3-day glow

Another Reason to Love Santa Cruz

Santa Cruz Mountain Brewery.

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Varla Jean Merman and friends

Tonight was a great night out. We started with a pre-show drink at Cantina. Then, we were lucky enough to have tickets to see Varla Jean and the Mushroomheads in the Rrazz Room at the Hotel Nikko in SF tonight. I went with a group of friends and the show was great. Imagine Schoolhouse Rock meets Electric Company meets Peewee's Playhouse meets mescaline-tinged psychadelic trip. In short, it was loads of fun. Get tickets while you can.

After the show, R and I wanted to grab some food, so we went to Fish & Farm. We had a burger and the salmon (both were quite tasty) and we had the cheesecake in a jar for dessert. I've decided that I want to be buried in a cheesecake jar after I'm cremated. And don't skimp on the butter crumble!

P.S. Who has the bigger rack? Varla or Beth on the right?

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Your Boss Just Doesn't Understand Your Alcohol Needs

(04-08) 14:57 PDT COPENHAGEN, Denmark (AP) --

Scores of Carlsberg workers walked off their jobs in protest Thursday after the Danish brewer tightened laid-back rules on workplace drinking and removed beer coolers from work sites, a company spokesman said.

The warehouse and production workers in Denmark are rebelling against the company's new alcohol policy, which allows them to drink beer only during lunch hours in the canteen. Previously, they could help themselves to beer throughout the day, from coolers placed around the work sites.

The only restriction was "that you could not be drunk at work. It was up to each and everyone to be responsible," company spokesman Jens Bekke said.

Carlsberg had mulled a stricter drinking policy for years and finally decided to impose the new rules on April 1, prompting protests from the staff.

Bekke said around 800 workers went on strike Wednesday and around 250 walked off their jobs Thursday, resulting in interruptions to beer transports in and around Copenhagen.

Carlsberg's truck drivers joined the strike in sympathy — even though they are exempt from the new rules, Bekke said. The truck drivers are permitted to bring three beers from the canteen because they often don't have time to have lunch there.

via sfgate.com

Very little truly upsets me anymore, but this is unacceptable. How dare management try to limit the amount of beer that you, a loyal, hardworking, and thoroughly addicted worker, clearly deserve while you're working. Look, dealing with coworkers is tough. They nag and cajole and ask for stuff. They even smile as you walk by. The expectation to smile back is too much to bear sober. Save your company. Let your employees drink.

*Brought to you by the Alcohol Producers of America Board

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What is wrong with America? Teens destroy a brand new iPad

I wonder where they got the money to buy this iPad? I wonder if their parents will see this video? I wonder what a Haitian family could have done with the $400 these kids just flushed down the toilet?

I read something yesterday about how people know how to deal with scarcity but not abundance. I think this clearly supports that hypothesis.



It's official: I hate kids.

Bobby Flay: Chef and Drag Queen

Tonight, Bobby Flay was wearing more makeup than all the contestants on RuPaul's Drag Race. Can you see the blush on his cheeks?!

Dear Bobby, you're supposed to make pancakes, not wear them.

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You can find me here today

via flickr.com

In my mind, I will be here, reading with a glass of wine and feeling the warm sun on my face. Where will you be today--in your mind?

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Double Down and Loosen That Belt!

Available on April 12 from KFC, the Double Down will be available in two forms. The Original Recipe sandwich clocks in at 540 calories, 32g of fat and 1380mg of sodium (thirsty yet?). The light Grilled Double Down will save you 80 calories and 9g of fat, but you'll get an extra 60mg of sodium (just in case the McDonald's fries you had earlier hadn't pushed your blood pressure into the stratosphere). America, this is the sandwich for you!

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