Want: Gold-plated, diamond-encrusted contacts

Are you tired of looking into your partner's eyes and seeing the same old boring blue, green, or brown irises? Or vice versa? Well, your suffering is about to end.

For a mere $15,000, Indian optometrist Chandrashekhar Chawan can make you these amazing contact lenses that will mesmerize and horrify your friends. Be a Stephanie Meyer vampire, sparkle in the sunshine. Just be ready for people to try to stab you in the heart with a wooden stake or gouge out your eyes to pawn them for drugs. Hey, it's totally worth it. Everyone will be SO jealous.

I will eat your SOUL!


Unknown said…
gross! how do you see? and they must really hurt, how do they not scratch your eye?
Unknown said…
Just remember kids, be good or she'll be waiting for you....under your bed!

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