Contrarian Mondays with Todd X: Sidewalk Etiquette

Phalanx

You've seen them walking down the sidewalk in their phalanx of privilege. Men and women both are equally afflicted by this disease. For some reason, certain types of people (a large percentage of whom work in finance, live in the marina, and belonged to a soro-fraternity) feel the need to occupy the entire width of the sidewalk. Or maybe it's better to say they are psychologically incapable of relinquishing the walkway. They're like an invading army that doesn't want to give up hard-won territory. Or carpetbaggers moving into areas of the city recently ravaged by the home loan crisis.

Nevertheless, these people don't get make room for me, for you, for ME! They think the sidewalk is a "wide lane" built specifically for them and their socioeconomic ilk.

I'm here to remind them that in this country we stay to the right. We drive on the right-hand side and we walk on the right-had side. Don't take your halves out of the middle and DON'T TAKE UP THE WHOLE DAMN SIDEWALK!

Peace is every step.

Aloha.


Comments

Darling now you know why when navigating city sidewalks I always carry a can of mace, a large pocketbook and a small child with Malaria.
Anonymous said…
Be honest, when you and Rand hold hands walking down the sidewalk, you too are annoying the people behind you trying to pass. I do especially love people who treat me as if I'm Moses and they are the Red Sea parting their held hands so that I may pass.
Todd X. said…
I would NEVER participate in such a blatant display of public affection. The horror.

Moses, eh? Or was that Methuselah? ;-)