Tuesday, September 28, 2010

People will line up for anything in this city

bongs butt plugs and black pepper ice cream

But, when you have a business model like this, stand back and watch the money roll in.

For more information, check out Necessary Conversation.

DIY: Skinned Hermaphrodite Telephone

Look. I don't make up the titles; I just share them. This guy probably teaches third grade and is a church deacon. I wonder if it was a robo-call: "Vote Meg Whitman," says the skinned hermaphrodite telephone. How can Jerry Brown top that?

Not bad for an atheist: Pew Forum Religious Knowledge Quiz

Here's how I did on 15 questions (excerpted from the larger U.S. Religious Knowledge Survey) compared with a nationally representative sample of 3,412 adults. Check out your religious knowledge at the Pew Forum. Meanwhile, I'm due back at the seminary. Ciao!

Posted via email from toddx's posterous

It's just a puppy



I never post cute things like this. It probably has rabies.

Salad!

Seriously, my bf's salad dressing is the bomb. Be jealous.

Posted via email from toddx's posterous

Monday, September 27, 2010

North Beach Old and New

I don't write about North Beach much because I don't visit this neighborhood very often. Beyond the occasional visit to City Lights Books and Tony's Pizza (and my bimonthly visits to the Hustler Club, of course), I don't have much reason to go there. But, I was there this weekend to visit the Live Worms Gallery and check out the Poetry Store and it reminded me of how charming this place can be. My friend Shannon and I had a great afternoon here earlier this year when we went to Zoetrope and shared some wine with strangers for example. Plus, there's taffy. I like taffy.

Therefore, in an effort to share more of San Francisco than my typical three block radius, I thought I'd post this video about SF's own little piece of Italy. Enjoy.

Sunny D and Rum: Yum Yum



I like her. And her frock. However, Sunny D is so 1997. NAKED juice and rum is the way to go. Or vodka. What does this woman have against Sunny D and vodka?!! God I hate her so much.

Inhuman Resources: How to make sure you don't get an interview

Job Application

It started off fine:
To Whom It May Concern:

Affected by the downturn of the economy, I'm interested in applying for the [JOB] you‘ve posted on the Craigslist web site. A graduate in Computer Science and Mathematics with years of experience in the Information Technology and Software development, I've a very good knowledge in web, database applications, systems, and agile methodology. I’m available immediately for employment. Please check out my attached updated resume and let me know if there's mutual interest.

Regards,
JOBLESS

Decent resume for some future opportunities, we thought, so let's reach out and talk to JOBLESS.
Dear JOBLESS,

Thank you for applying for our [JOB]. I would like to set up a time for us to talk about the position and your background. Do you have 20-30 free minutes this week?

Sincerely,
HR

Little did I know, JOBLESS got up on the wrong side of the bed this afternoon:
Hi HR,

I don't really know exactly what you 're looking for. My unix/linux sysadmin skill is not up to date as I'm very much into development lately. If you are looking for can do one it's me cause I've done that and still can do it; however, if you're looking for one who is current don't bother to waste yor time cause I'm not the one and frankly I'm sick of people who contact me then reject cause I'm not current. So don't.

Anyhow, I do have time. Please contact me at 510 555 9999 anytime, preferable, Friday, if you're still interested to talk to me.
Um, okay, then. I think we'll take JOBLESS's advice as a new mantra when it comes to dealing with people like JOBLESS: So don't.
Dear JOBLESS,

I’m sorry to have bothered you by following up on your application for our JOB. We will not attempt to contact you further.

Sincerely,
HR

I hope this is helpful to the job-seekers out there. Don't be insane.

Who needs manna from heaven when there are caffeinated brownies?!



A Snack in the Face bakery has solved the age-old problem of how to get even more caffeine into my daily diet. As someone who tries to eat his weight in chocolate on a weekly basis and who uses caffeine (a PERFECTLY LEGAL DRUG) to mediate his experience of this thing you all call "reality," I find the idea of a caffeinated brownie to be sheer genius.

Now the real question is: Should I move to Iowa in order to have on-demand access to these confections? Ames, IA is essentially Caffeine Mecca right now.

From the Des Moines Register:
In a 400-square-foot storefront across the street from Iowa State University, a peppy woman cooks up a batch of Iowa's newest alternative energy.

Allison Nelson pulls a sheet of brownies from the oven, lets it cool, then slices the sheet into 4-inch-long treats. Baked inside each is the magic ingredient of Nelson's business, a fledgling bakery called A Snack in the Face: 200 milligrams of pharmaceutical-grade caffeine.

"Iowa's the capital of alternative energies: wind, ethanol, biodiesel," Nelson said.

And now this - the tastiest alternative energy yet, and another step in the modern world becoming the most caffeinated society known to man.

The nation's first caffeine bakery, now a year old, plans to expand to a larger manufacturing facility and supply convenience stores in Iowa and nationwide. The tiny Lincoln Way shop garners surprised looks from many who walk past. Some seem scared. But for most who pop in, it's like a revelation. Their faces light up at a delectable brownie with an energy burst.


Dear Baker Lady, please make me brownies. NOW!!!!!!!!

Peter Pan Fail

peterpanfail

No, Wendy, he can't fly.

Chum: A Redefinition

1. v. to vomit
2. n. vomit

I'm going to chum if I look at this chum bucket for much longer.

The horrible chum bucket for the Fear Factor game

Sunday, September 26, 2010

I bought a poem today @thepoetrystore

Silvi was at the Live Worms Gallery today and I managed to make it to North Beach and check out her poetry. I couldn't leave without a souvenir, some words to remember. So I snagged this little gem. I asked if I could steal it, but Silvi seemed hesitant to let me run off with her wares. So, I paid fair and square. Now it's sitting on my desk for all my co-workers to read. And it's here for you, too. Enjoy.

Posted via email from toddx's posterous

These colors don't run either

colors

from Just a Jeep Guy

Friday, September 24, 2010

Twitter in situ

West Virginia Girls Are Unforgettable



Oh, Lady Bunny, when are you coming to SF?

O RLY? The Montage

orly

I had to share this.

For Scott P



I'm so, so sorry.

Got Clowns?



Seriously, these things creep me out. And by things, I mean children. I'm basically okay with clowns.

Kitten + Tortoise = Friday Night Fun



No, the tortoise doesn't eat the kitten or vice versa. I'm not that drunk yet.

It's Friday night. What else would I be doing?

Here's to the start of a beautiful warm SF weekend. Cheers!

Posted via email from toddx's posterous

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Another reason to drink: It's Autumn!

Behold the Autumn Apple!

Ingredients:

* 1 ounce Germain-Robin apple brandy
* 1 ounce Gravenstein apple juice
* 1 ounce Sonoma Sparkler Apple Cider, or Martinelli's Sparkling Cider
* 1/2 ounce fresh lemon juice
* 1/2 ounce Ginger Simple Syrup (see recipe)
* 1 lemon twist, for garnish

Instructions:

Fill a cocktail shaker two-thirds full of ice and add the brandy, apple juice, apple cider, lemon juice and simple syrup. Shake for approximately 15 seconds, and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Add the garnish. Drive a pitcher of them over to Todd's house.

Cheers!

Posted via email from toddx's posterous

Hey, He-Man, What's Goin' On?

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Deep-Fried Cheddar-Bacon Mashed Potatoes, or You had me at deep-fried

HuffPo has published a series of the top ten new foods at state fairs in 2010. I'm voting for this one. I love mashed potatoes and this looks pretty darn amazing. Does anyone have a Fry Daddy I can borrow? Oh, and some Lipitor?

Posted via email from toddx's posterous

Hanger Fail

hanger fail

I wonder if they can get the irony stains out of my shirt?

MLK Jr. vs the Market: Retail Capitalism Wins Every Time

martin loofah king

I have a dream. . . of no more flaky skin.

Systems Theory and the Future of the Book: Everything is connected



As our ability to contextualize knowledge increases and speeds along thanks to always-on, always-connected digital devices, we will necessarily change the way we read. I'm a firm believer that the traditional book will continue to have value. It is a medium that is too nearly perfect to be abandoned easily or casually. But, books are only one vehicle for reading. As we know, people are reading more than ever: they're just not reading novels or poetry. But, they're reading.

Nevertheless, as our media consumption habits develop, so too will the modes and genres of literature develop. I think that Ideo presents some interesting ideas in this video. I particularly like the "Nelson" reader. It's like having the ultimate hypertext bibliography for every book. Oh, the possibilities. With a Nelson reader, the book is no longer a stand alone product, concrete and unchanging. Now, it can be truly experienced as a living part of the knowledge system from which it grew. With the right book and a curious mind, just imagine the connections, the discoveries, the relationships one could make.

The future is bright indeed.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Senator John McCain: Bigoted or Just Ignorant (or both)



You "won" today, Senator. I'm not sure you even know what you were fighting for, but I take comfort in the knowledge that you're getting ever closer to the end of your days on this earth and the generations coming up behind you don't possess the same level of prejudice that you clearly hold onto so dearly.

What it means when you say "literally" (via The Oatmeal)

I love The Oatmeal. And I think I need one of these steamrollers, preferably rocket-powered.

Read the whole thing here.

Posted via email from toddx's posterous

At the cow wash



Now you know why your burger was so juicy.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Kama Pootra vs. What's Your Poo Telling You?

Oh really, who cares? They're both books about poo. The aesthetic choice (if one can have an aesthetic choice about such subject matter) is clearly "What's Your Poo." It's infinitely cuter and doesn't try to trick me into believing in some wacko religion.

I guess my real question is "Why is all this publishing energy going into poop related books?" Am I going to have to write a book-length poem on bowel movements in order to get published? Wait a minute. . . that's not such a bad idea. Where's the Ex-Lax?

Buy Poo here.

Posted via email from toddx's posterous

The fog is a living thing in San Francisco [video]



The Unseen Sea by Simon Christen is one of the more amazing and beautiful time lapse videos I've seen. If you ever doubted that Sutro was a god and the fog his gospel, you will be a believer after watching this.

Race and Ethnicity in the San Francisco Bay Area

If you haven't seen it yet, you must check out this map. By viewing our citizens as multicolored dots (and who doesn't do that once or twice a week?), we can plot out the racial makeup of our fair city. The results are astonishing. I can easily make out the racial enclaves of Chinatown, the Tenderloin, Pacific Heights, the Marina, Bayview-Hunter's Point, and the Mission.

So, I guess this means we're really diverse but only neighborhood by neighborhood. Let's not mix things up too much. If you want to move here, pick an appropriately colored ghetto and pack your bags!

But, I have to give the Richmond and Sunset districts props for being the most evenly blended. Good work.

Oh, and bonus points if you can pick out and name the prison on this map.

Posted via email from toddx's posterous

I tasted a mooncake, and it didn't kill me (yet)

Mooncake

We received a box of mooncakes at work from one of our printers, so I decided to try a bite. Don't know what a mooncake is? Imagine lotus seed paste and salted duck eggs. Sounds delicious right? Well, here's more info for you.

from Wikipedia:
Mooncakes are Chinese bakery products traditionally eaten during the Mid-Autumn Festival / Zhongqiu Festival. Typical mooncakes are round or rectangular pastries, measuring about 10 cm in diameter and 4-5 cm thick. A thick filling usually made from lotus seed paste is surrounded by a relatively thin (2-3 mm) crust and may contain yolks from salted duck eggs.

Most mooncakes consist of a thin tender skin enveloping a sweet, dense filling. The mooncake may contain one or more whole salted egg yolks in its centre to symbolise the full moon. Very rarely, mooncakes are also served steamed or fried.

Traditional mooncakes have an imprint on top consisting of the Chinese characters for "longevity" or "harmony" as well as the name of the bakery and the filling in the moon cake. Imprints of the moon, the Chang'e woman on the moon, flowers, vines, or a rabbit (symbol of the moon) may surround the characters for additional decoration.

Mooncakes are considered a delicacy; production is labor-intensive and few people make them at home. Hence, most prefer to buy them from commercial outlets, which may range from smaller individual bakery shops to high-end restaurants.

So, I'm expecting to find out either a) I'm allergic to lotus seed paste or b) I've been poisoned with salmonella-infected duck yolk. Wish me luck.

And happy Zhongqiu!!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Friday, September 17, 2010

Oak & Van Ness: My old stomping grounds

And, no, I'm not a homeless, drug addicted, doughnut fiend.

Posted via email from toddx's posterous

Is there any flavor that vodka should avoid?



I'm going out on a limb here to say, "Yes." For me, flavored vodka stops at fish. Fish? Fish!

And we're not talking just any fish here. We're talking Alaskan Salmon.

To make their fishy vodka, they smoke the fish using a secret process. Then they remove the skins and grind up the meat before mixing it with highly concentrated ethanol. This process produces a fluid that contains, "the flavor, rich color and essence of the salmon."

Pardon me while I chum into my wastebasket. Blarrrgh.

If you haven't had enough fishiness from Alaska to satisfy you for a lifetime, then check out the Alaska Distillery.

Chronicle Books Does Park(ing) Day

It looks great! Real furniture and everything.

Who's a family? New study tracks shifting US views on gay families

Only about one-third of those surveyed said they considered same-sex couples without children to be a family. And in 2006, when asked if gay couples and pets count as family, 30 percent said pets count but not gay couples.

"The sheer idea that gay couples are given less status than pets should give us pause," [Indiana University sociologist] Powell said in an interview.

No, no, I totally get it. First, the chickens in California get more protection than the gays. Now we learn that just four years ago, 30% of America thought their pugs were more worthy of family-status that any of my gay friends in committed relationships.

Thirty percent.

And people wonder where the Tea Party came from.

Posted via email from toddx's posterous

It's Friday and I'm exhausted. Thankfully, my entourage will carry me.

Or was this taken last night during that crazy party? Oh, who knows? I can't think about it any more. Soooo tired. And this turban is soooo heavy.

While you're wondering why I'm painted green (I'm magically delicious, that's why!), be sure to click on the link above and check out more of Steve McCurry's photos. They are awesome.

Posted via email from toddx's posterous

It's PARK(ing) Day! Come by Chronicle Books and check out our parklet

What's PARK(ing) Day, you ask? It's one day where the citizens take over public space from the automobiles. It's legal, it's fun, and I hope you get to participate. For more information, go here or watch the video from last year.

San Francisco Park(ing) Day 2009 from Streetfilms on Vimeo.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

My favorite color

I can't believe it's not gray.

Love and Other Drugs [Jake Gyllenhaal Alert]

gyllenhaalposter_morningglory

Somehow I missed hearing/reading about this upcoming movie. Today, though, I noticed this well-cropped poster and did a little research. I hate to say it, but the movie looks cute (even with Anne Hathaway). Why must I be so drawn to romantic comedies like this and "The Proposal" and "Schindler's List"?! It's not fair.

Nevertheless, I'm sure I'll be charmed by Jakey's blue eyes and will drag the BF to go see it under the pretense of judging Anne's acting ability or something.

If you haven't seen it yet, here's the trailer:

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Looks like a good night for baseball



Giants vs Dodgers. Wish the SF Giants luck!

Posted via email from toddx's posterous


UPDATE: The Giants won 2-1!!

Don't Follow The Arrows! [seen in SOMA]

IMG_0132.JPG


I don't know what evil troll or miniature Exorcist Alice is trying to get you to go down this little rabbit hole, but I'm here to tell you, "DON'T DO IT!" Green does not equal go in this equation.

I mean, it already looks like someone tried to poke a finger or a baby's arm down here already. Who would do such a thing? Clearly, you should be prepared to have whatever you stick down here bitten off.

My advice: Stay away, no poking, keep your hands inside the bus!

I'll try to keep you updated in case I see anything crawling inside--or out!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Cover Letter Tip of the Day: Pronouns Are Your Friends

I'm not sure what professor at this person's liberal arts university caused an irrational fear of pronouns, but by my count, the letter only uses the word "I" once. Perhaps it's just an expression of self-hatred, an attempt to eradicate the ego. Did some Level-9 Buddhist write this?!

Hello and well being,

Thank you for the consideration for an opportunity to work and assist. As a university liberal arts graduate, believe this may be considered a beneficial accomplishment and point to move forward from.

In my most recent professional position with a global marketing firm placed in New York City, was honored in a company newsletter as one of the firm’s top researchers. In this role, was reliable and skillful at gathering the desired data and information for an online marketing, and public relations product. Also, as a product administrator added hundreds of new organizations to the tool, while assisting clients with customer service inquiries and feedback.

Additional professional experience in the New York City hospitality industry, introduced me to an elite level of customer service, presentation and style. In this guest services role, was a welcoming face for the hotel and patrons. This included helping guests with specific questions, coupled with successful interaction and direction amongst fellow working associates. While overall, being a welcoming aspect of the guest’s stay and experience.

In addition, possessing previous professional experience in the real estate industry may be considered a valuable skill. Using knowledge of the sales process, client relationships, business development, and contracts, may be viewed as elements to prosper with future clients, brands and staff.

Thanks again for your time and energy, as I look forward to being a positive and contributing member to a team, their brand, environment , goals and ambitions.


So, my tip of the day is "Make sure your sentences have subjects." Oh, and "Proofread." Frustrated English majors may be reading your cover letters, and those people are snarky and unforgiving. You've been warned.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Science is beautiful (especially when you add vodka)

A block of ice, blow torch, drill, bottle of vodka, @jetjocko & @markmcc. Just another day @wired

A block of ice, blow torch, drill, bottle of vodka, @jetjocko & @markmcc. Just another day @wired.

Wired seems much cooler to me right now. Sexy even. I wonder if it would buy me a drink. Hmmm?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Another reason to love New Zealand

Clean and bright with the scent of cut grass, this Sauvignon Blanc was a nice surprise. Plus, I liked the bottle. Win-win.

Posted via email from toddx's posterous

Bread! Tartine Bakery and their new book



Man shall not live by bread alone--unless it's Tartine bread.

Buy some bread. Buy this book. Bake some bread and send it to me. I'll have the butter waiting.

NBC: Not as racist as they used to be

Untitled

In fact, now they're more "colorful." Get it? Peacock, rainbow feathers, African-American actors = colorful!

So witty these television marketers.

Butter Makes It Better

Butter

I miss the days when butter (and red meat) was the healthy choice. Bring back the butter!!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Consider Publishing Saved: Snooki Reads



P.S. Love the boots.

Back off FDA! FDA sends warning letter to Lipton: Tea Can't Do That


The FDA is trying to scare America.

Apparently, the FEDERAL (that's never good, is it, Mr. Beck?) DRUG ASSOCIATION* doesn't believe that tea is the absolute cure-all that Lipton advertises it to be. What right do they have?! And where is their research? Clearly, they've never had nor tested tea when it's iced. Iced tea saves lives!

Why does the GOVERNMENT want to keep you from drinking tea? And what connection does it have to 9/11?! It's up to the People to ask these questions!

Caffeine saves! Support Lipton against Federalized Medicine!! Vote for the Iced Tea Party!

Amen.

*Yes, I know it's the Food and Drug Administration, but that's not as funny now, is it?

Friday, September 3, 2010

People take dying spouses seriously: Big Brother and Matt

Come on, people. It's a game! Give the guy a break. So he lied about his wife dying of some rare bone disease. So he played on the sympathy of millions and, more poignantly, that of his housemates (especially the legitimately sick woman). Who cares? It's entertainment! It's what we want to see. I'm still waiting for the day that the contestants open the door to the backyard and find it full of wild hungry Bengal tigers. Now that will be a Head of Household competition I want to watch.



Seriously, after watching this, we all get that Matt is a douchebag, celebutard wannabe. Okay. No argument there. But, moral outrage? Get real. In case you missed the 60 minutes report: IT'S ALL FAKE!! FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE. So, get off your soapbox, sit back down in your La-Z-Boy, and turn on the latest episode of Wipeout. Perhaps it won't challenge your moral foundation too much.

Enjoy the sunshine today SF!

It's Friday. I need a nap.

Naptime

Thank all that is holy in publishing for summer Fridays.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Watch Out For My Body Rolls [video]

You're going to want to thank me after watching this.



High kicks! High kicks! This is how we do it!!

There's no difference between a calf and an infant



I'm nearly speechless.

I don't want to go on some conservative rant where I say something like, "Despite the problems in our own country, it's important to realize the vast cultural chasm that divides us from the developing countries of the world. I do not believe one could find a similar story or a similar attitude in the United States. And, I believe that is a good thing."

Nor do I want to write some uber-liberal, pantheistic tract like, "We live in such a sterilized, mechanized, unnatural society that such an act of human kindness seems alien to us. This calf is holy. This woman is holy. Nature is holy. We are the aliens and we have lost our way if we cannot recognize this act as holy."

Instead, I will just say that Hollywood is surely creating a movie about this perpetual milk motion machine/human-cow hybrid centipede. And, now, if you will excuse me, I need to take a hot, hot shower.

This person is my hero, or "Why stealing from children is good"

From The Stranger:

Yesterday I was walking down Pine Street behind a woman who was hand-in-hand with an adorable child. The woman was on her cell phone and obviously in a hurry. The child was young—two? three?—and was hop-running to keep up with the woman in that adorable, clunky way children do when they haven't yet figured out how knees work.
drink.jpg
Then the adorable child spotted five dollars on the sidewalk. I saw her spot five dollars on the sidewalk. She pointed and tried to say something to the woman, who gave her arm a tug and kept walking. The adorable child was still pointing at the money as I walked over and picked it up. We locked eyes. The child didn't say anything. I put the money in my pocket. Later, I bought a latte.

Now, there is a chance the child was pointing at the cigarette butt lying next to the money, or some other cool trash nearby. But probably she was pointing at the money. The money that I took. From her, a child.

So, am I a monster?

No, you are a goddess. Marry me.