Inhuman Resources: How to make sure you don't get an interview

Job Application

It started off fine:
To Whom It May Concern:

Affected by the downturn of the economy, I'm interested in applying for the [JOB] you‘ve posted on the Craigslist web site. A graduate in Computer Science and Mathematics with years of experience in the Information Technology and Software development, I've a very good knowledge in web, database applications, systems, and agile methodology. I’m available immediately for employment. Please check out my attached updated resume and let me know if there's mutual interest.


Decent resume for some future opportunities, we thought, so let's reach out and talk to JOBLESS.

Thank you for applying for our [JOB]. I would like to set up a time for us to talk about the position and your background. Do you have 20-30 free minutes this week?


Little did I know, JOBLESS got up on the wrong side of the bed this afternoon:
Hi HR,

I don't really know exactly what you 're looking for. My unix/linux sysadmin skill is not up to date as I'm very much into development lately. If you are looking for can do one it's me cause I've done that and still can do it; however, if you're looking for one who is current don't bother to waste yor time cause I'm not the one and frankly I'm sick of people who contact me then reject cause I'm not current. So don't.

Anyhow, I do have time. Please contact me at 510 555 9999 anytime, preferable, Friday, if you're still interested to talk to me.
Um, okay, then. I think we'll take JOBLESS's advice as a new mantra when it comes to dealing with people like JOBLESS: So don't.

I’m sorry to have bothered you by following up on your application for our JOB. We will not attempt to contact you further.


I hope this is helpful to the job-seekers out there. Don't be insane.


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