State of the Union 2008: Abridged Edition

BUSH STATE OF UNION

APPLAUSE

God bless
Troops
Econony bad
Stimulus
STANDING APPLAUSE
Congress bad; Do what I say.
APPLAUSE
Cut taxes permanently
APPLAUSE-O-RAMA
9-11, terrorists, jihadists, bad, evil
Hate freedom
Nucular
Iraq, Afghanistan, free
Surge good
Troops good
Give military more money
STANDING JUMPING LEAPING APPLAUSE
Global warming bad
Nucular energy good
APPLAUSE
Earmarks bad
Veto good
APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE

Signs autographs

Exeunt


----------------
Listening to: Nina Simone - Love Me Or Leave Me

Comments

Darling here's what I heard ...

"Folks, it's been a real blast raping and pillaging this great country and taking away your civil liberties for eight years. Sure was fun landin' on the aircraft carrier. Sucks about Katrina. Oh, and those 935 lies my administration told before we invaded Iraq? Weren't lies at all...I's jus' jokin'. I'm a joker, see? Bringin' a little levitization to the folks. And Terri Schiavo: I'd do it all over agin' for ya, darlin'. Now git out there and spend those rebate checks when they arrive in June or August or whenever. Make sure you send a thank-you card to China, since their lenderization is makin' possible your spenderosity. HehHehHeh..."
Kevin Heckman said…
Here's a nice graph of the number of applause moments per State of the Union address, by year:

link

And here is my favoritest quote ever about the address:

It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abysm of pish, and crawls insanely up the top most pinnacle of posh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.

It's from H.L. Mencken, talking about Warren G. Harding. Could've been written last night.

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