Saturday, August 29, 2009

Things to avoid at all cost today: Outside Lands

Can't you just smell it from here?

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Friday, August 28, 2009

File Under "Shoot all graffiti 'artists'" -- Vandal Defiles Mr. Burbujas.

I hate graffiti and have advocated for the gunning down of all graffitos. If you're carrying a can of spray paint, beware. Mr. Burbujas is out for revenge.

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Todd: After the BBQ

But the pulled pork was so yummy!

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Picnic + BBQ + Todd = fatter

I have got to ditch those sunglasses. Plus, my hair is looking bad. Maybe I should grow it out. Or maybe my head is just fat, too.

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Learn to shave your chest AND lose IQ points with this video

I expect great things from former Real World cast members. MacArthur genius grant? Check. Chair in the Classics department at Yale? Check. Fermat's Theorem? Basic math to these alumni.

Luckily, Scott Herman does not disappoint.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

In fashion, you're either in or you're clucked: Project Runway, Ep. 2

You may have missed it, but tonight fashion philosophy took a giant leap forward on Project Runway. Malvin, my favorite wacko contestant, chose to take a conceptual approach to the maternity challenge tonight. Now, if you've ever watched PR, you know that this rarely ends well.

chicken

You see, Malvin decided to ask the eternal question: Which should I sew first? The chicken or the egg? In his "too conceptual for America" moment, Malvin chose to combine both with his egg sling meets poultry meets Mission (but Noe Valley wanna-be) hipster "chick." It was like Anne Geddes and Jean-Paul Gaultier designed something for Terry Gilliam's latest near-future dystopian film.

The horror.

egg_14

Oh well, it was fun while it lasted Malvin. I wish you luck in your future endeavors. May I suggest a denim, tin foil, and rubber hose combination? It'll make a lovely wedding dress.

98-1247861790-malvin-vien-picture

Company Picnic!

Mother Nature was kind to us today and gave us some amazing weather in Golden Gate Park for our company picnic. If you know how foggy the park can be, then you know it was a gamble. Lucky for us, it paid off. We feasted on CatHead's BBQ (delicious!) and ended the day with a rousing game of Slosh Ball. It was a perfect San Francisco day with a great bunch of people.

Beer Pong at Chronicle Books

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Fantomes!

I saw these at Tartine and they are CREEPY!!! The anus mouths alone are enough to curdle one's blood. But, if you're in the mood for a cookie and some odd paper art, check them out at Tartine.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Disaster in the Castro! Chow has a fire in the kitchen

If you've never been to Chow, then how can we be friends? Seriously, this institution of eatery and community is like the anchor to this end of the Castro. Alas, they had a fire in their kitchen on Friday morning and will likely be closed for weeks. My god! Where will the gays eat now?!

I'm not sure I can make it without the daily special (AKA the "Heather Locklear" AKA the salmon) for several weeks. And no short ribs?! And that delicious salad with apples and candied pecans!! Is anyone else hungry?

Here's wishing Chow a speedy recovery. Now get to work, you guys. We need you back soon.

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Thursday, August 20, 2009

I'm so glam you don't even know how glam I am

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Lindsay Lohan once again shows us why Hollywood rules and the rest of us don't. Bette Davis, eat your heart out.

Pour some sugar on me! Sugar crisis in America

As only Stephen Colbert can do, he dives into the issues of corporate agriculture and America's food habits by doing an ironic bit on the "Sugar Crisis" in America. Food manufacturers banded together and issued a letter to Tom Vilsack, Secretary of Agriculture, claiming that America would face an unprecedented shortage of sugar unless access was opened to other international sugar sources. Dr. Marion Nestle countered their claims, stating that they simply want access to "cheaper" sugar markets.

I don't know about you, but when I visit the aisles of my local supermarket, I have to say that it doesn't feel like there's a sugar crisis going on. Although, I did notice that one Walgreen's did not have any of my sugary Hot Tamales the last time I visited. Should I be worried? Crisis!!!

Also, after watching this, I really appreciate the glaze on my apple fritters now. Long live the glaze.

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I feel pretty: The controversy surrounding Caster Semenya's gender

After posting a record time in the 800 meter run, Caster Semenya was asked to undergo gender tests conducted by the South African athletics federation. Semenya and family are naturally dismayed. When asked how she felt about having her femininity challenged, Caster responded, "Me want meat!!"

The test, which takes weeks to complete, requires a physical medical evaluation, and includes reports from a gynecologist, endocrinologist, psychologist, an internal medicine specialist and an expert on gender.

Now, I'm no expert on gender and I don't judge, Judy. But, I have one suggestion to resolve this entire mess: check the basket.

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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Theodore Olson's Road to Championing Same-Sex Marriage

Last month, at a Federalist Society lunch, Mr. Olson delivered his annual roundup of the Supreme Court term. He was greeted warmly, but there was palpable discomfort over the marriage case. Not a single person mentioned it to him, save for an oblique ribbing by David Bossie, whom Mr. Olson is representing in a case involving his scathing documentary about Hillary Rodham Clinton. After pecking Ms. Olson on the cheek, Mr. Bossie told her husband, “I’m not going to kiss you, even though apparently you wouldn’t mind.”

Oh, those funny conservatives at the Federalist Society. I'm so glad they can find time amidst our financial crises and wars and the meltdown of our social infrastructure to make a homophobic joke.

As for that kiss, Mr. Bossie, yes, any of us would mind. We would mind a great deal.

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Human Rights Report On Murders Of Gays In Iraq

Lacking other groups to persecute (I guess they've killed them all), the Shiite militias are targeting gay men. Seriously, can the gays catch a break here? First Prop 8, then Adam Lambert, and now this. I don't think we can take anymore.

If you just want to take a look at the report, you can go here. Be warned, the report is graphic.

And, if you don't want to take the time to read it, please consider the words of Hamid, who is dealing with the murder of his partner:

"The cheapest thing in Iraq is a human being, a human life. It is cheaper than an animal, than a pair of used-up batteries you buy on the street. Especially people like us."

I've had to hear and use those words "people like us" too often in the past few years. So much for progress.

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Sunday, August 16, 2009

The secret lives of boy band members

Joe Jonas, newly minted gay icon, pulls back the veil and reveals the seedier side of the tour that dares not speak its name. Go Joe!

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Saturday, August 15, 2009

Hit & Run Hula in the Castro

It began with Matthew Martin performing Shirley Bassey. Then he was joined by the Na Lei Hulu dancers and the crowd loved it. It was a gorgeous day for hula in the center of the Castro. I think Pele was pleased.

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Hit and Run Hula at the Apple Store in SF

I hope you had a chance to catch some of their performances today. I got to see the one in the Castro and the crowd loved it. Pele made sure we had amazing weather today, too. Mahalo nui loa!

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I wish our beaches were warmer

Why? Oh, no particular reason.

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Thursday, August 13, 2009

Yale Press Bans Images of Muhammad in New Book

The Cartoons That Shook the World by Jytte Klausen, a book about the 12 cartoons that appeared in a Danish newspaper in 2005 and led to protests around the world by many Muslims because they depicted Muhammad in a satirical way, will not include the drawings--or any other images of the Prophet. According to the New York Times, after consultations with various people who predicted that including the cartoons would cause more outbreaks of violence, Yale University Press decided not to include the cartoons because they are available on the Internet and publishing them would be gratuitous.

In other news, publishers around the world have banded together to support Yale UP and have decided to expunge all visual imagery from their books. "Who needs to see the raising of the American flag at Iwo Jima or the photos of prisoners at Auschwitz?" said famed book insider Guy Montag. "Words are enough. Use your imagination!"

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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The tale of the observant passerby

Talk about self-sacrifice!
Mendocino County's sheriff is recovering from second-degree burns after he pulled a woman from a burning SUV near Ukiah. Sheriff Tom Allman says he was on his way home from work Tuesday night when he came across the burning vehicle on the shoulder of Highway 101. A passerby told Allman a woman was inside. He pulled her out and wrapped her in a blanket to extinguish the flames. The woman was taken to the burn unit at UC Davis Medical Center in Sacramento. Her name and condition have not been not released. Allman suffered second-degree burns on his hands but is expected to return to work Thursday. Fire officials say it's not clear what caused the vehicle to go up in flames. The fire spread to nearby grass and threatened a home before it was put out.

WHO was this passerby?! Give that person a good Samaritan award!! S/he had the fortitude to glance at a burning car and then mention to a police officer that a woman was inside. The bravery! The chutzpah! The unvarnished altruism of it all!!!

In other news, I was recently nominated for a good citizenship award for not pushing this annoying woman into oncoming traffic last week. I believe I showed incredible restraint.

Game Night: Spectacles vs. the Horseshoes

The Chronicle Books softball team played the evil and boastful Horseshoes last night. Rand and I, with Taco Bell and iPhone in hand, cheered them on. Alas, despite my live-tweeting of the game, the vile Horseshoes managed to prevail. Next year, Horseshoes. Next year!



Yes, I said live-tweeting.

Cognitive Dissonance -- Bookstore-style

From "Shelf Awareness":

Because of "the harsh realities" of the current economy, Books Inc., which has 11 stores in California, has restructured its main office and let go Barry Rossnick, senior trade buyer.

Books Inc. co-owner and CEO Michael Tucker called it "the hardest thing I've ever had to do running the company." He noted that since the beginning of the year wages were frozen and executives have taken weekly furloughs each quarter to avoid store-level layoffs. Books Inc. announced last week it is opening a 4,000-sq.-ft. store in Berkeley. Tucker said, "The last thing I thought I'd do this year is open another store, but the developer really wanted a bookstore and gave us what we needed to make it happen."

Don't you hate those "harsh realities" that allow you to expand your business while simultaneously betraying the people who have helped you build it?

 

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Monday, August 10, 2009

Communication 101, Class of 2009

communication 101, class of 2009

I prefer not to go beyond level two. I'll go to three if you're really nice and "like" my status updates.

I want lavender citrus cookies--NOW!

Make them for me!!

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Oprah steals from the GREATEST POET EVER!!

As I was reading the paper today (ahem, the National Enquirer is too a TOTALLY legitimate paper!), I came across this little nugget of journalistic gold. Apparently, the publishing world is not in as much trouble as one would have believed. And finally, poets, those unacknowledged legislators of the world, are getting their fair share. Well, until Oprah stepped in!

Single-handedly attempting to gut the thriving and lucrative poetry business, corporate hack Oprah Winfrey stole Damon Lloyd Goffe's poems, republished them, and sold over 650 milion copies at $20 a pop. That's a clean $1.2 trillion, my friends. Goffe is suing--as he should! And IT&S hopes he gets paid back every dime.

For a little context: total book sales in the US in 2007 were about $25 billion. WHO is buying all the poetry!!?

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Saturday, August 8, 2009

Thursday, August 6, 2009

When Ads Attack: Burger King

I think the boys on Madison Avenue have let the late night Cinemax movies go to their heads a bit. And don't you just love the misogynistic overtones? Making the model look like a blowup doll is the sauce on this seven-incher for me. Classy.

Seriously, this is the best they could come up with? SEVEN inches? I don't click on a link for less than nine.

And how many calories does this thing have. Never mind. I'm having a Healthy Choice meal for dinner. It just tastes better, Fatty.

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Passion: For Kim

Not even close.

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Congrats Justice Sotomayor. Now, about that DOMA thing. . .

I hope Sonia turns out to be a raging liberal, the likes of which we haven't seen in decades. Unleash the judicial activist!

But, if not. If she turns out not to be our friend. Then I hope she's ready.

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Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Hellooooo, Murse! Do you carry a man-bag?

This article was called "Men with Baggage." Methinks the NY Daily News speaks the truth. The guys in this piece have some serious baggage. And since when did we start calling these things "murses"?

Look, I carry a messenger bag almost everywhere. It's the norm in SF. I carry a pretty plain (albeit self-designed) Timbuktu bag. It's a little worn and I need to replace it. But, a murse?! I think not. And $2000-3000 on one? No way.

Now, had this been an article about shoes, I might have had a different opinion. Shoes are TOTALLY worth $2000.

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This is what narcissism looks like

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My latest fashion statement: The Plague Suit

Now, do I wear it for the company picnic or the holiday party? Decisions, decisions.

Okay, this is actually a plague suit and you'll soon see them popping up at the classiest Chinese parties. Worn in the middle ages, the mask included red glass eyepieces, which were thought to make the wearer impervious to evil. Meanwhile, the beak of the mask was often filled with strongly aromatic herbs and spices to overpower the miasmas or “bad air” which was also thought to carry the plague.

On second thought, I might start wearing this on MUNI. Talk about "bad air."

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A powerful email about Michael Jackson from Stevie Wonder

  ....... .. . . ..   ...
.. .  . .    .   .     . .   .  .. . ..  ..   .. .. . .    ..
...  ... ... ... ... ... ... .... ...... ... ... ... .... ..... .. .
..     .  .  . .. .   . .  ..
... . .... ...  .... .... ...
...... .... .... .... ..... ..... ..... .. . . .....  ....
. ..     .
.   .      ..   . ..          .              ...
....... ... ... ... .. ... ....... ... ... .... ...  ... .... ....
.  .. .. .
.. ....
..  .        .       .  .  . .. .. . ..
..  .... .. ... ... .......  .......  .....


I hope it moved you as much as it did me.

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Jerks in Your Area? Mining Craigslist to make you laugh (and wince)

Craigslist is an endless source of fun, and now someone has compiled some of the more outrageous postings for your enjoyment. I give you jerksinyourarea.com.

Now, I don't know about you, but I'm thinking about renting that closet in Hilo. I've got a truckload of pineapples and don't know what to do with them. Aloha!

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Please DON'T "xixi" no meu banho

Eww. I mean, I know Madonna said it was okay to do on the Letterman show many years ago, but I draw the line at guests stepping into my shower to do their business. That is, after all, why I have a kitchen sink.

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Baby for sale on Craigslist? Blame Iced Tea and Sarcasm

See! I told you these things were too expensive. Now people are trying to unload them on craigslist. Soon they'll be worth little more than junk bonds. Sell now!!

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Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Am I Twitter elite?

If we are to believe this graphic, then yes. I am one of the five elite. I use Twitter daily and have over 200 followers (love you all!!).
 
But let's get real. There is no way I'm in the top 5%. Now, icedteaandsarcasm.com is a totally different story. That stuff is elite to the max.

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Darwin's Theory of Lovevolution, Or How to Ruin a Perfectly Good LoveFest in SF

Not only do the organizers want to change the name, now they want to charge $10 for admission to Civic Center. From Love Parade to LoveFest to Lovevolution, this non-partisan "let's just have a good time and dance to great music" party is slowly devolving. I've had great times here in the past, but I'm not sure I'll be able to afford the $8 vodka and Red Bulls if they're going to charge me a sawbuck to get in. Besides, it's just really going to mess with my buzz, yo.

Don't let the love fester, LoveFesters! And, to my city supe, Ross Mirkarimi, don't do it! Don't pass the resolution to let them charge admission. What are they promising you? A free ride on the best float?! Ross, let this one slide and your first drink is on me. Plus, I'll dance a little boogie with you. That has to be worth something.

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It costs $221,000 to raise a baby!

Check out sfgate.com

scary baby

The USDA's Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion released a report today that says a middle-income family with a child born last year will spend about $221,000 raising that child through age seventeen. When you add the skyrocketing cost of a university education (an average of $25,143 per year at private four year colleges and you DO want Junior to make something of himself, don't you?), the cost is well beyond the $300,000 mark.

Now, what would I rather do with $300,000?

1. Make a downpayment on a house.
2. Take a fabulous $13,000 vacation every year for the next 22 years (instead of dealing with Junior's issues)
3. Buy several cars and new wardrobes.
4. Set up a scholarship fund for underprivileged or underappreciated students.
5. Move to Paris

In short, enough is enough. It's time to investigate the ROI of these screaming, oozing, pooping blobs of wonder that I have to put up with in restaurants and movie theaters. Think before you procreate. And most importantly, think about the impact your meiosis will have on ME!

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SPAM subject of the week: A bigger rod will show you a shorter road to success.

Who writes this stuff?  And how can I get paid to do it?!

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TasteSpotting: Check out this delicious site

Since I'm constantly accused of only posting about food, I will feed the beast and share this lovely little website that someone just introduced to me. It pairs gorgeous food photography with tasty recipes in an easy to navigate layout. Click and discover something new. And after you test a few recipes, invite me over. I'm starving!!

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Monday, August 3, 2009

The little monster's machine of mayhem

This. This! THIS!! This is what hit me this afternoon as I was walking back from lunch. I remember what innocence tasted like. Will I ever know its sweet flavor again?

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Crash: My theory on MUNI, BART and the SF Municipal Transit Authority

I have a theory. MUNI and BART are in cahoots. Instead of a strike, the employees have decided to take out their frustration against the MTA management and the citizens of SF by any means necessary. Increased benefit costs? Take that SUV! No raises for three years! Bam! Pow! Crash!! will go the trains and our cars. Operation costs will skyrocket until they get the contract they want. Allegedly, that is. I mean, it's just a "theory."

Take heed, MTA supervisors. The trains are out to get YOU! In the meantime, drivers and pedestrians of San Francisco, keep your eyes on the trains. Don't blink. They can be on your butt in no time.

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Carte415 opens this week!

I just read this in their Twitter feed:
 
"Opening day is here! We're opening this Wed August 5 in the 101 Second Street Atrium."
 
Yum. I can't wait. Check out the website and I'll see you in line!
 
http://carte415.com

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I want to do this to the kid who tossed water on me today



Sans sheet, of course.

Don't drop the baby cause he might cry
Don't touch my soft spot cause I might die
Don't drop the baby cause he might cry
Don't touch my soft spot cause I might die



The Judybats

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Miami Social - Ariel vs. Michael Video

New favorite quote: "You can do a lot of good and still be a whore."

Is anyone else watching this show?! They're the worst people on the planet. You must watch them eat one another!!

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Sunday, August 2, 2009

Everybody purge now!

It was an odd sign to find in a restaurant, but I was offended by its anti-caloric mandate. How dare the Chow proprietors tell me what to eat! I paid my bill, now pass the gravy!!
 
Seriously, it's a real sign in the Lafayette Chow. I don't know what they're thinking, but it didn't affect my Chow experience. I started with a cup of potato fennel soup. It was tasty and it renewed my desire to learn how to make soup. Rand and I also split the spinach salad--spinach, apples, candied walnuts and other goodies. For my entree I had a small order of fusilli. I ate every bit. When asked, we all told the waitress, No dessert.
 
Then we left Chow, walked to Coldstone Creamery and gorged on ice cream. I shared the "Pie who loved me" with Rand. I thought the cheesecake ice cream was a little too strong.
 
Now, as I head back to the city with the tune to "Everybody dance now" running through my head, I have a new appreciation for bulemics. Everybody purge now!!

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Tell Me Why: LGBT Attack in Israel

Thanks for this Joe and I hope you don't mind the re-post:

Bronski Beat's "Why" from 1984. This song seems especially appropriate for this weekend.

Lyrics:

Contempt in your eyes as I turn to kiss his lips.
Broken I lie, all my feelings denied. Blood on your fist.
Can you tell me why?
You in your false securities.
Tear up my life, condemning me.
Name me an illness, call me a sin.
Never feel guilty, never give in.
Tell me why?
You and me together.
Fighting for our love.
Can you tell me why?

Queers read this.

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Eater SF says Starbucks in the Mission is pulling a "chameleon"

It's happening in Seattle and now they're trying to pull the wool over our eyes in San Francisco. Starbucks is busy remodeling and rebranding several stores in an effort to make them more neighborhood friendly and palatable to corporate xenophobes among us.

Now, as for me, I don't care. I love Starbucks. I want them to give me free iced tea and pastries for life. And I want one in my neighborhood. Unleash the 'Bucks! Gentrify all the awful areas of the city. Come the New Jerusalem!!

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The Longest Way 1.0 : Amazing photo-journal video

Christoph Rehage spent a year walking across China and created a photo-journal of his journey. He shares his adventures, his journey, and hair growth with us. It's spectacular.

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As a result, I was late for my haircut

A San Francisco MUNI driver leapt to his death from the Golden Gate bridge last week. Rene Lee Ing had been a MUNI employee since 1997. I can only imagine that the thought of one more day of dealing with both MUNI and the people who use it was just too much for Mr. Ing. Any time I have to take a bus, I feel like doing the same thing. Somebody pull that cord, stop this bus, and let me off.

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