Friday, July 30, 2010

This is still $600/month in San Francisco

Thursday, July 29, 2010

The floss proctologists recommend most!

Oh, you know you're going to look for this the next time you go to Walgreens.

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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The 20 Most Caffeinated Cities, or "My work here is never done"

San Francisco is only the fifth most caffeinated city in America?! People, I can't single-handedly consume all the caffeine west of the Mississippi. I need a "little" help. Please note, however, that my former home of Seattle is #1. So, as my residency in this great city continues, I'm sure our Caffeine Supremacy will grow.

Here's to next year, San Francisco! Drink up!

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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Things people hate or love: Seagulls, homophobes and/or racists

Based on the traffic to my blog, my post Hating Seagulls is like being racist or homophobic is easily the most popular thing I've posted in months. Is there a huge pro-seagull rights movement out there?

So, seagull-loving/hating visitors, welcome! Stay awhile and enjoy. Leave a little comment and a cookie. Or cake. I like cake.

Everything is going mobile: The Lafayette Bookstore

In this age of apps and iStuff, what value do we really place on something like a book? It's a centuries-old technology, doesn't have wifi, and lacks the allure of gadget-mania. But, if you've ever taken your iPad to the beach and had to shake the sand out of it or worried about losing your Kindle vs. a $6.99 paperback, then you're probably already aware of the brilliance of the book medium. Paper, ink and glue are still one of the best ways to distribute words and ideas in a universally-accessible way.

There are problems, of course. Distribution of books is becoming, in some ways, harder and harder. Both the independent and chain stores are struggling to keep their doors open (and many are failing) as they attempt to deal with the ever-changing economic landscape. A little thing called the internet hasn't helped stores either as consumers decide discounts are worth more than local availability and expert, personalized attention and reading suggestions. As a result, communities are losing their bookstores.

A small bookstore in Lafayette, CA is no stranger to all these problems. If you take a look at the Lafayette Bookstore website (and I highly recommend you do), you will see how they have decided to adapt to the current market:

Closing our brick-and-mortar store doesn't mean we're out of business! Welcome to the Bay Area Bookmobile--our "Independent Bookstore on Wheels." We'll be popping up at farmers markets and festivals and schools and book clubs and wherever we're invited all over the Bay Area, selling a selection of new or used books, customized for each appearance.

"Big Blue" is a bookmobile that was decommissioned from the Ypsilanti (Michigan) District Library and was acquired and driven to the Bay Area from Lansing, Michigan by Dave Simpson the week of June 20, 2010.

This, my friends, is nostalgia in action. Big Blue evokes a time when people hungered for the ideas and worlds contained within books and would gather around the library bookmobile. As we all know, libraries barely have enough funds now to stay open 4 days a week, though, and poorer communities never even had the "luxury" of a library. I'm very excited that the private sector has picked up this idea and run with it. Power and books to the people!

According to Shelf Awareness, Owner Dave Simpson says Big Blue draws "a lot of attention! No matter where we're parked, people come up and ask what it is. Some are nostalgic for the bookmobile that brought them books when they were kids; others are thrilled because they've never seen anything like it. No matter the reason, we love bringing people aboard! The most common observation we hear is how big it is inside, and the most common comment we hear is, 'cool!' "

Cool indeed. I wish the Lafayette Bookstore tons of luck and hope the Bay Area continues to embrace their latest endeavor. Most of all, though, I wish Big Blue better mileage than the manufacturer ever suggested--you deserve it! Now, go buy some books!

Take a look inside!


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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Hating seagulls is like being racist or homophobic

hating seagulls

No, no it isn't. Not in the least actually. What are they teaching in J School these days?

Don't tell the Mohel!

Finally, a superhero for both fetishists and activists! Check out his political tract comic book at the link above. And watch out for doctors with sharp instruments.

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The view from the Embarcadero today

I'm loving this new Photo Stitch app for my iPhone. The panoramas it lets you put together are pretty cool. From left to right you can see the Ferry Building, then the bay, and the SF half of the Bay Bridge.

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Gravy Dog

Found on Battery near California.

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Friday, July 23, 2010

Who needs a Snuggie when you can have this?!

Snuggie Supreme

It looks quilted or crocheted. Whatever it is, I think it may be the coziest-looking thing I've ever seen. The footies alone sell me on this thing. Come on! Who doesn't miss footie pajamas?!

Where can I buy one and what shall we call it?

Snuggie + cocoon = Snuggoon?

He is a homosexual: 1967-2010

seattle mag 1967

Can you believe this was over 40 years ago? Way to go Seattle! Who needs Mad Men after seeing this? Of course, being the realist, I hope Peter wasn't bashed after this was published.

In other news, Lt. Daniel Choi learned yesterday that he has been officially discharged from the Army--because "he is a homosexual." Perhaps we haven't come that far after all.

Daniel Choi discharge

I think it's time to burn something.

Can I be Mommy for a while?

Moms get all the best booze.

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Drink Up! Charlotte's Web at Eve

It's Friday and, as usual, SFist brings us another delicious drink. This one has a lot going on, but after a long, hard, foggy week, I think we deserve its balanced complexity. Check it out in person at Eve.

Charlotte's Web

5-6 Basil Leaves
1 egg white
1 1/2 oz Hendrick's Gin or Stoli vodka
1/2 oz. Dolin sweet vermouth
1 1/2 oz. pineapple juice
1/2 oz fresh lime juice
1 dash Peychaud's Bitters
Topped with cracked pepper

In mixing glass muddle basil with fresh lime. Add ice and rest of ingredients except the black pepper. Shake vigorously, pour into martini glass, add cracked pepper and garnish with a basil leaf.

That's it, I'm moving to Bell, CA : How a city manager of a small, poor CA town made $787K

If the City Administrator can earn $787,637, then surely a witty and sarcastic blogger can earn a couple hundred K, right? (And don't call me Shirley.)

I have to agree with one of the comments on this story in the SF Gate. The writer said he had always been a social liberal but things have gone too far. The trust is broken. We social liberals fully believe in addressing large social issues through large social efforts--shocking concept, huh? But, to quote someone who likely would have disagreed with most of my politics, we must "trust but verify." This man's salary began to explode a decade ago. Did no one notice? Is there no oversight for these towns? If not, there needs to be.

I suggest creating a large, well-paid state organization that will regularly investigate and audit the workings of all the smaller governments in California. That should solve some problems, right?

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Thursday, July 22, 2010

Elmhurst, Illinois could teach the San Francisco Board of Supervisors a thing or two

Elmhurst has had ENOUGH of your shenanigans! After ejecting a resident for rolling her eyes at something a council member said (it's freedom of speech, folks, not freedom of eye movements), the Elmhurst council in its infinite wisdom asked the City Attorney to look into the creation of a "disturbance and disorderly conduct" that could include the sin of eye-rolling.

What is Supervisor Chiu waiting for?! They've passed a budget. Their work is effectively done--except for the whackjob stuff like this! Imagine the next outburst from Supervisor Daly: "Bailiff, eject that man for a breach of decorum--along with the rest of the people sitting out there who keep rolling their eyes when I mention Muni's improving statistics." Then, I think he'll go "Arrrgh" or something, like a pirate.

Now that would be worth watching on SFGTV.

Why all the bad press, Oakland?

Your town seems lovely.

Sorry Beth.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

We're Top 10 in Sarcasm!

7/21/2010 IT&S

Wow, I mean WOW! Seriously, this blog is a joke, a rambling mess, the product of a mind too hopped up on caffeine, Twitter and not a little vodka to know the difference between diplomatic and tasteless. Nevertheless, my heartfelt thanks to all my readers and followers. You guys rock.

This makes you want to do bad things, doesn't it?

jesus died for nothing

I knew it.

When babies come around, I show the parents this

The smile is disarming, but the green mucous is alarming. I'm not rhyming, I'm sliming.

Thanks, Emily.

Coming soon to a theater near you: The Exercise


This made me giggle.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

"At Last" by Etta James (and a turtle)

The internet is done. Stick a fork in it.

Want: Portable watermelon cooler/heater

I find the task of transporting my watermelons from the supermarket to my apartment to be daunting. And, if I want to take one to a friend's house, what am I supposed to do? I can't show up with a watermelon that is too hot or too cold! That would be barbaric!!

Thankfully, for a mere $230, my problems will be solved with the Marugoto Tamachan. If you were wondering what to get me for St. Swithin's day, this would be just the thing.

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Guess who Mel Gibson is dating now?!

Ah, yes, now I understand the joys of parenting


Lies!! Zombaby attack! They want your ears, then your BRAINS!!

Where angels fear to tread, or Cristiano Ronaldo gets "boned"

Poor Cristiano Ronaldo. Apparently he's never seen a Viagra or Enzyte commercial. Don't worry, Cristiano, someday you'll have one of your own.

I do love the look of shock and horror, though. Jeez. Lighten up.

Why drink less?

You're familiar with the scene: you've been invited to Acquaintance #1's house for a hootenanny and you think to yourself, "I guess I'll bring a bottle of wine . . . for myself!" So, you schlep to your local wineshop, pick up a bottle of Chateau Whatever's-On-Sale-But-Not-Too-Cheap-Because-You-DO-Have-A-Reputation-To-Maintain, and arrive to A's house with libations in hand. Cut to 45 minutes later, after you've choked down the vile "Cambodia is the new Napa" swill that Acquaintance #2 brought to the party, and you reach for your bottle of divine nectar--only to discover that it has been opened and half-drunk. Oh the humanity! All those molecules of winey goodness that will never infest your liver. It's not fair.

My friends, I'm here to help. I give you the "Full Bottle Wine Glass."

Why drink less?

Used strategically, the Full Bottle Wine Glass will preserve your oenophilic desires by allowing you to monopolize any bottle of wine you want. Casually uncork the bottle and begin to pour. As long as you haven't "accidentally" purchased a magnum of Riunite Lambrusco, your wine should easily fit into your glass. Yes, you will likely have to explain the need to bring your own stemware, but this can easily be written off to a fear of inferior glass production or a crushing need to make your hands look smaller. If you have a forgiving therapist, she might give you a note declaring your glass to be a "companion animal."

Regardless of your level of alcoholism, this glass belongs in your collection. Join the Cougar Town crowd and buy it now here.

If I can't hear the donkey's screams, then it didn't really happen

All joking aside, they should really be more careful. That parachute probably wasn't made to hold the weight of a donkey, and it would be expensive to replace.

When I read this, my heart grew three sizes, my eyes watered, and I thought one word


I wonder if it would be better braised or grilled. Stews are nice too.

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What turns you on?

We all have different buttons that like being pushed: roses do it for some, whips and chains for others. Me? I like good wine and bearer bonds.

Now, I'm quick to judge not one to judge, so feel free to share your perverted turn-ons. But keep it clean and euphemistic. The orphans who regularly read this blog have enough ugliness and horror in their lives without IT&S adding to it. But, since their English is so bad, they won't understand things like "punching the donkey" or "braiding the dough" if you know what I mean.

And for that small subset of truly depraved sickos furries out there, I give you a fox on a bicycle. Try not to go too crazy when she takes her top off.

P.S. Where do people find the time to do these things?!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

She's come a long way, baby: Lady Gaga performs in SF in 2008

I don't want to be a pest this morning but...

And don't forget the doughnut. Thx.

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Does this rainbow umbrella make me look gay?

chace crawford

No, but having a PA hold it for you does, Chace. When, oh when, will Gossip Girl end so these guys can move on to their Cinemax softcore porn careers?

Seriously, can you imagine just how much the guy holding the umbrella hates Chace and/or his career choice? "Let's see, I could be in business school, working at Best Buy, teaching inner-city youth, or holding an umbrella for a douchebag teevee star. I'll take curtain #4, Alex!" Poor thing.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Do you object to open relationships?

Today's story on open relationships in the gay community has caused some interesting reactions among SF Gate readers and more than one of my friends.

A friend of a friend had this reaction:

Lame!How can you call yourself a "couple" when you're fucking someone else? "Open relationship" is just a phrase they use to justify being a whore but calling it whatever they need to call it to make themselves feel better. If the sexua...l "spark" with a partner isn't enough to satisfy, it would make sense to find another partner. Seems like fags just want to have their cake and eat it too, maybe as payback for all of our "rough times growing up."I feel like open relationships are copouts, the article should have been called "45 percent of gay men don't believe in love." I'm just happy the other 45 percent may still believe in monogamy and longterm loving relationships, until of course they do another study. They'll all burn in the fiery pits for their lack of commitment to their partners, but then again who am I to judge? I'm single and wouldn't know a thing.

My response?

The problem with the article isn't the premise; it's that the premise is only applied to gay couples. Please note the 50% divorce rate and this graphic:

If gay couples have found a way to navigate the artificial construct of marriage in a way that is more successful than heterosexual divorce-addicts, then I say kudos.

What do you think?

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Infidelity: A Graphic Representation


You should all be ashamed of yourselves!


Yippee! It's Friday!!


Thursday, July 15, 2010

Broken eyes

Dinner tonight is brought to you by Real Simple magazine

Rotini pasta with sausage, red bell peppers, garlic and red pepper flakes served with a light Caesar salad. It's real, it's simple, it's yummy. Tomorrow, R is buying me dinner at SPQR. I deserve it. Bon appètit!

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Who knew the Real World had become relevant again?

With hard-hitting topics and witty discussions like this, I think MTV has a winner on its hands again.

Strive to be boring

I like that philosophy. It's so much easier than "Don't be evil." Check out the glasses here.

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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Monday, July 12, 2010

Cake: Nom nom nom

It was sitting in one of the kitchens at work, all by itself. No witnesses. Let's just say that I hope they didn't count all the sprinkles.

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When "Ultra" is too much to handle

Who knew they even made non-Ultra stuff? Why wouldn't I want everything to be Ultra? Ultra-Caffeine! Ultra-Chocolate! Ultra-Homelessness!! Ultra-Mind-Numbing!!!

Seriously, shopping in hardware stores is one of my favorite things ever.

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Marriage Equality: It Shouldn't Be A Big Deal

¡Viva La Argentina!

Cover Letter Tip of the Day

Don't make this your opening line.

To Whom it May Concern:

I would very much like to apply for the above position,in fact since I have had a lot of friends, mentors, family members, confidants and business leaders advising and training me through out the years from my earliest days setting up internships in high school and college, as well as very specific training and a natural sales ability second to none through out my life and career in our particular and very specific field and that is why I am that much further ahead when it comes to this very specific position, I feel this position would be the best possible position for me since nobody in the business world knows the market or the product for that matter better than I do.

Yes, you read it right. It's one sentence. He lost me at "in fact since."

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Everybody run!

The homecoming queen's got a gun!

Do they make bad, campy videos like this anymore?

When "graphic" means shocking, SF Gate's art department is usually involved


Oh, you've done it again, SF Gate. Your story today on the "Online News War" employs another one of your well-trained, creative graphic artists. Who else would think of using USB cords as fingers? The circuit board skin? The starburst effect behind the half-human/half-machine man? And, my favorite, the never tiresome infinite mirror effect! Look, the image keeps repeating itself in the hybrid iPad-newspaper! History is a nightmare from which I'm trying to awaken. Then again, so is the SF Gate.

Well played, editors. I thought you couldn't do worse than that last image I complained about. And, well, maybe this isn't worse. But, it certainly isn't better.

Dear AIGA, please organize an intervention.

Farm:Table: You have to eat here

I went here yesterday for lunch and came away so pleasantly surprised and satisfied that I have to share.

The owners of Farm:Table focus on taking whatever is fresh and available at the local farmers market and creating a simple (and delicious) menu. Yesterday, they had a salad, a soup, and a sandwich on the lunch menu board. I chose the creamy tomato soup and the grilled summer squash, arugula and cheese sandwich. No meat?!!! That's right. Both dishes were great. The soup was among the best tomato soups I've ever eaten. The sandwich surprised me the most.

Admittedly, I would normally not eat a squash sandwich. It's not my favorite veggie. But, I put faith in the cook's vision and I'm glad I did. The bread, the cheese, the seasoning: it all worked. Sitting in the sun at one of their two sidewalk tables didn't hurt the experience either.

In short, look them up and go for breakfast or lunch and some coffee. You'll thank me. Bon appètit!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Redefining Fabulous

But, if you're expecting to see this picture in Webster's, you're sadly mistaken.

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Fashion is beauty

Um, well, yeah. Beauty. Eye of beholder. All that jazz. Except. . .

Yikes, this thing is creeping me out! Powder is all grown up and ready to storm Berlin in his drawstring duffel bag. The wispy whiskers are enough to keep me up all night, but the pale flesh AND lips really are the frosting on the cake. I think I'll stick with Banana Republic and the Gap.


Happy birthday, Gale Harold

You give me hope for 41.

Carrot Top has completely transitioned

You may now refer to him as Jackie Stallone.

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Coco500, you redeemed yourself tonight [Food]

My last two visits to Coco500 were. . . okay. One was for dinner; the other for lunch. Neither visit blew my mind. But, I decided to have dinner here on Friday night regardless. And I'm glad I did.

I started by ordering a Cold and Foggy which is Coco's version of a Dark and Stormy. It was good, really good. Gingery and delicious. For an appetizer, I had the fried green beans and truffled flatbread with squash blossoms (how gay does that sound?). As an entree, R and I shared the asparagus salad with grilled ricotta salata and artichokes and the sea bass. Both were excellent, but I really loved the fish course. It was cooked well and served on a bed of sweet corn chowder. It's the best thing I've ever eaten there.

I washed it all down with a glass of 2007 Cep Syrah, and R had an amazing 2007 Egon Müller Scharzhofberger Riesling Kabinett (now that's a mouthful). Seriously, Riesling can be sweet (grossly so), but this was minerally with just enough acid to offset the subtle sweetness. Alas, the waiter said only 30 cases were reserved for Northern California, and Coco got 10 of them.

We ended the night with a couple CocoCups (housemade peanut butter cups) and a cup of coffee. After a night and a dinner like this, I can easily recommend Coco500. I look forward to my next visit--and liposuction.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Be Lindsay Lohan but better. Be Unseen!

Act out your Lohan fantasies without any of the shame of revealing paparazzi photos the next morning with Black Bars Privacy Specs!

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Watch out, Paul McCartney! SoMa isn't the Haight, you hippie!!

The Beatles sound is over. Keep the volume down while you're here!

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You're soaking in it

Vote Yes on Proposition Infinity: Robosexual Rights Now!

FuturamaThursdays 10pm / 9c
No on Infinity
Futurama New EpisodesFuturama New EpisodesIt's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Rincon Hill thinks it will be bothered by a concert in AT&T Park

I would think the noise from I-80 would be 100 times more annoying than a concert from several blocks away. Now that I think about it, though, the thought of any wafting Beatles-tainted sound might upset me too.

Stop McCartney! Stop Noise Pollution!

No Beatles Zone