Eat the Menu!

So, as you may know, I'm running for mayor of San Francisco. It's sort of a shadow candidacy. No posters. Or commercials. Or endorsements. Or money. Just me, in my head, ranting to my friends about stuff I hate (hello, Muni!).

So, as part of my platform, I will move to ban the hanging of menus on all doors, gates, fenceposts, and slow-moving homeless. This wastefulness must stop! How many redwoods must die to tell me about General Cho's Fiery Chicken at Jade Inn or the new Scallop and Peanut Butter pizza at Extreme Pizza or the vegan-friendly kabob's at Mother Earth on a Stick?! Not only will we be carbon neutral; we will also be Menu-tisement free!!

Seriously, my building has three of these things hanging from the front gate as I type. Who should be responsible for pulling them off and throwing them away? And is it acceptable for me to call the offending restaurants and threaten them if they leave menus here again? Will I be branded a menu terrorist?

And, most importantly, can I count on your vote?

Todd X in 2008! No menus for oil!!


Dear heart, of course you can count on my vote and I can't tell you much this pisses me off as well. I have a mail box on the front porch which clearly reads "No Flyers" do you think those morons pay attention, I must throw out about 20 or more a week. Since they can't read I'm thinking of having the mail box wired for electricity.

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