Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sarah, could you have maybe mentioned CBS? You know them. Katie cashes their checks. Or maybe something more obscure like the New York Times?
During a telephone call Sunday afternoon, Jones said she plans to call upon Spellberg to recant her description of The Jewel of Medina as "soft core pornography," saying that this public assessment had to have been a factor in the bombing. "The planting of that bomb is Martin Rynja's letterbox was not about my book," Jones said, noting that the novel was not yet available in Britain. "It's not about the content of my book. It's not about the ideas in my book. It must be about the rumors and innuendos... [This is] obviously a response to the misinformation." Would she go as far as to blame Spellberg's incendiary rhetoric for the attack? "I feel that the people who resorted to violence are responsible," Jones emphasized. "But her use of the word 'pornography' has done nothing to help the situation."
Jones said that she had had a brief email contact with Rynja after the incident, but knew very little about his exact circumstances, other than that he had told her some of the reports in the British press were "exaggerated." "I know that he's a very courageous person and a man of strong conviction who understood my book from the very start," she said. She added that she had heard nothing to indicate that Gibson Square—or Beaufort Books, her new American publisher—would not continue as planned to bring the novel to the public. "The publishers that we've been working with [since Random House's withdrawal], their eyes have been wide open" to the possibility of terrorist violence, Jones said, although she remains convinced that once people have had a chance to read the novel for themselves, instead of relying on misinformation, "they will see it's respectful and all the rhetoric will die down." (Unfortunately, certain extremist clerics suggest otherwise, declaring that Saturday's bombing was merely "the thin of the wedge.")
In a statement released later Sunday afternoon, a publicist confirmed Beaufort's plans for an October 15 publication date have not changed: "They are hoping that getting the book out into the public's hands will end this nonsense.
According to Forbes, News Corp. founder Rupert Murdoch's fortune declined $2 billion to $6.8 billion. News Corp.'s stock price fell 34% over the last 12 months despite the robustness of the Fox brand and its purchase of Dow Jones, publisher of The Wall Street Journal. Murdoch lost $1,000 every 15.78 seconds, or $63.38 per second. That's about $1.5 million an hour.
So, while you're digging through your sofa to find enough change to put some gasoline in your Prius or to buy that Amy's Organic pizza, think of poor billionaires like Rupert and weep for their lost millions.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Oh, and in case you missed it, there was an unexpected guest during one of the challenges. If you've seen the show before, you know that many of the male contestants tend to wear just their underwear most of the time. I guess it's cooler, easier to wash, and a great way to show off their bodies so they can get that post-Survivor gig. Unfortunately for contestant Marcus, he should have stuck to boxer briefs instead of plain old boxers. Behold the power and the danger of the fly:
No worries, Marcus. First, I mean how many people watch Survivor anyway? 18.3 million? Second, based on what I see, you have nothing to be ashamed of. (Pssst, call me. . . )
So, turn in every night on CBS. With censorship like this, who knows what we'll see next.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Nina Katchadourian has struck upon an interesting idea. Take book titles and attempt to turn them into stories/poems. I imagine Nina walking around her local Borders, stealthily pulling random titles from the shelves and stacking them as inconspicuously as possible in a lightly trafficked corner of the store. She pulls out her camera, snaps the photos, and slinks away--leaving the stack of books to be reshelved by some poor Borders employee.
Ah, but it's all for art. So it must be worth it.
The spine poem above is, I think, the best of the lot.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
So, screw Keats and check out Love Fest on October 4th.
Bad move, Senator.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Flash forward several years to today and PETA's letter to Ben and Jerry of ice cream fame:
September 23, 2008
Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, Cofounders
Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc.
Dear Mr. Cohen and Mr. Greenfield,
On behalf of PETA and our more than 2 million members and supporters, I'd like to bring your attention to an innovative new idea from Switzerland that would bring a unique twist to Ben and Jerry's. Storchen restaurant is set to unveil a menu that includes soups, stews, and sauces made with at least 75 percent breast milk procured from human donors who are paid in exchange for their milk. If Ben and Jerry's replaced the cow's milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers--and cows--would reap the benefits.
Using cow's milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer's health. Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer. The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America's leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow's milk to children, saying it may play a role in anemia, allergies, and juvenile diabetes and in the long term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease--America's number one cause of death.
Animals will also benefit from the switch to breast milk. Like all mammals, cows only produce milk during and after pregnancy, so to be able to constantly milk them, cows are forcefully impregnated every nine months. After several years of living in filthy conditions and being forced to produce 10 times more milk than they would naturally, their exhausted bodies are turned into hamburgers or ground up for soup.
And of course, the veal industry could not survive without the dairy industry. Because male calves can't produce milk, dairy farmers take them from their mothers immediately after birth and sell them to veal farms, where they endure 14 to17 weeks of torment chained inside a crate so small that they can't even turn around.
The breast is best! Won't you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow's milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry's ice cream? Thank you for your consideration.
Executive Vice President
Irony is dead. All my insane ideas have become reality. Weep for the new world.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
I wonder what other reason John McCain would have to put Carly out there at the "public face" of his economic plan? Hmmm. In an election where gender politics were at the forefront. . . Well, I can't think of anything. She must be brilliant.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Thanks to CinemaCapMan for sharing!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Dear Whole Foods,
When you sell items like this, it makes it hard for me to take your "we're not more expensive than Trader Joe's campaign" seriously.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
David Foster Wallace, age 46, was found dead on Friday by his wife. We've lost one our generation's big literary figures. Will his writing last? I'm not sure, but he was a literary force, and we need those in the world. I remember reading "The Broom of the System" before I even knew who he was (well, before most people knew who he was). I was intrigued by the title and the description. The book was crazy with wordplay and difficult to follow--with very little resolution--kind of like modern life. It was also the first time I encountered the name "Stonecipher." The name still rattles around in my brain every now and then.
My thoughts go out to his family and his students.
NY Times Obit
Thursday, September 11, 2008
TRENDS SPOTTED: SPRING/SUMMER '09
Reversible clothing and accessories (that you'd actually want to wear on both sides)
Recession Chic junk jewelry
Saddle shoes (for men and women)
Asymmetrical jackets and blazers
Bow ties (for men)
Grown-up fanny packs
'80s Country Club Prep
Incredible Details (intricate clothing tags, linings, unique resin buttons)
Found object jewelry (e.g. keys, paperclips, buttons)
Can I just say that when I start walking down Market Street in my saddle shoes, bow tie, cowboy shirt, and mesh pants, I am going to cause quite a stir.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Some subject lines for you to enjoy at my expense:
She will like you more once you are bigger below
Be the master of lovemaking
Regain your attractiveness as a man
Your measurement calls for improvement!
Re: making your member longer
We have everything to cure your masculinity.
The best enlargement pills available
Make your tool big and juicy
Make it longer and more powerful
Attain your fullest potential in bed
And my fave from this past week:
Make your pecker a beast
There you have it. I'm fully deflated now (no pun intended). Laugh, point, giggle and titter. I will say, though, that they have guessed my, um, proclivities, completely wrong. "She" will most definitely not benefit from any of these miracle cures.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
I'm aghast. How could my fellow San Franciscans let me down like this? How much more iced tea must I drink to get our average up? Read more about it here.
The full list:
Least Caffeinated to Most
1. San Francisco - Oakland
3. New York
6. Dallas - Ft. Worth
7. Minneapolis - St. Paul
8. San Diego
10. Riverside - San Bernardino
11. Los Angeles
12. Seattle - Tacoma
13. St. Louis
Hey, I'm all for anything that allows me to complain more easily. What I really want to know is can I start taking pictures of the people and cars that annoy me on a daily basis? If I post it, will it go away?
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Radio, as counterintuitive as it may seem to you, is a more immediate, accessible, and universal medium. You don't need a big flat screen plasma HD television with surround sound to enjoy Nina Totenberg. You need a small transistor radio and some batteries. It's easily more democratic than television. And, I think, radio forces us to be more imaginative and interactive and more engaged with the speaker and story. Frankly, I get 50% or more of my news from the radio.
If, however, you're more of a podcast person (which I totally understand), give Stitcher.com a try. Founded in San Francisco, Stitcher pulls together audio content and streams it, based on your preferences, to your iPod or computer. I have the application installed on my iPhone and I think it works really well.
Get out there and turn off the teevee and turn on the radio. If you can't think of anything to listen to, here are a few suggestions:
This American Life
Wait, Wait, Don't tell me
The Diane Rehm Show
Morning Becomes Eclectic
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
"Welcome to the family, my boy! The next time your johnson gets in the way of my campaign, though, I'm going to show you a little trick I learned in Vietnam called 'Burn the Worm'."
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
It's official. I'm a .com now. Feel free to update you bookmarks if you want, but it's not necessary. Through the magic of Google, icedteaandsarcasm.blogspot.com will forward you to www.icedteaandsarcasm.com. Actually, it's more like a miracle. A veritable virgin birth if you will. Like Sarah Palin's grandchild-to-be.
It's not the YMCA. It's not the Badlands. It's not even EQ3 on a Sunday afternoon. But, despite it's lack of flair and gay cachet, Jelly's is becoming the hottest new homo dance club in the city.
I went last Saturday with my boys and a bottle of Grey Goose between us. (Only the good stuff for us.) From the moment the bouncer patted me down with special attention, I knew I was in gay heaven. The dance floor was packed with hot guys, all cruising for attention, and dancing the forbidden dance. Wait. Was that the lambada? Okay, it was all about the salsa here. And I'm not talking condiments.
So, when your looking to break that Jackson that's been burning a hole in your pocket, but you still want some change left over to do laundry on Sunday. . . or if you just aren't sure how to burn off the excess blow you snarfed earlier in the day, head down to SOMA and take a ride on the Jellycoaster.
Thanks to everyone who has visited and continues to visit "Iced Tea and Sarcasm." I hope the ramblings of my febrile mind and the thematic randomness of my blog hasn't been too cumbersome. What can I say? I'm large; I contain multitudes.
And, I must add a special shout-out to Magnolia, my most devoted reader. Thanks for all the comments and the continued devotion to reading this mess of mine.
Thanks again to you all.
Todd and his giant otter
Monday, September 1, 2008
Afterward, we got some candy and drove to Carmel and walked barefoot on the beach. Then we had dinner outside at a little Mexican bistro. My carnitas were yummy.
I hope you had a good holiday too.
It's warm. They have diamonds and bananas. And the Amazon (no, not the dot com). Add to that, lots of sunshine and a low-cost labor force, and you can see why I'm beginning to have my doubts about the categorization of these countries as "third world" as a way to explain their troubles.
Discuss among yourselves.